Drunken GChats About Gay Stuff With Two Gay Guys #3

“Drunken GChats About Gay Stuff With 2 Gay Guys” is a new weekly LOL fest where two awesome but drunk ass gay dudes talk about pop culture and cocks and stuff. Have things you want us to talk about? Submit your questions or give us wine suggestions (although we’ll probably drink some red anyways) to madison@thoughtcatalog.com or shawn@uloop.com. Yaaasss!

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SHAWN: I watch a lot of BRAVO shows like Vanderpump Rules and Gallery Girls

MADISON: OMG GALLERY GIRLS !!!

SHAWN: Bravo is really good at casting awful human beings to be in their shows…but I can’t look away.

MADISON: Uh so the trailer for RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 is here, did you peep it yet?

SHAWN: No! I haven’t.

MADISON: Wait are you even a Drag Race fan?

SHAWN: To be honest, I’ve only seen a few episodes here and there.

MADISON: Ugh, what kind of gay are u. You have to get into it, even if only for the brazen commercialism and hilarious hashtags #OhNoSheBettaDont lol

SHAWN: I had an acquaintance that dumped his boyfriend because he found out that he did drag. It wasn’t even that he was upset that his boyfriend lied to him…it was because he did drag. I was infuriated for a long time about that. How petty.

MADISON: Oh lord. Gay men and their misogyny, I’m telling you the truth. Drag-o-phobia, femme-o-phobia…

SHAWN: If we’re not ragging on ourselves, we’re ragging on every other gay subculture. I just don’t understand it…that clearly made his boyfriend really happy…he should have at least given it a chance.

MADISON: I know a lot of gay dudes who have dated drag queens, and a lot of them are turned off by the spectacle. He might dress like a woman as performance but he still has a cock so…It’s this closeted thing we feel like we have to hide. The thing is, too, that folks change over time, and you might have to decide if you want to roll with those changes. What if you dated somebody and it’s all cool + then you decide that you want to give drag a try bc, like, why not? Do you keep it a secret or do you just do u?

SHAWN: This is so corny, but I think honesty is just the most key thing. Without delving into too much into my upbringing, I always saw how dishonesty crushed relationships. So, I think I would tell my partner.

MADISON: You would tell him, of course, but what if he is all, Shawn, boo boo, NO. What do you say to that?

SHAWN: I think I would have a really hard time making it work if it were something I were so strongly passionate about. If a boyfriend told me, “I don’t want you to write anymore…I don’t want your feelings all over the internet,” I’d be like “kbai.” Which, I have had boys say that to me. Or they’ll be like, “you’re not going to write about this, right?” Maybe I just attract an unsavory sort of person in that way.

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MADISON: Here’s a thing: how do you feel about open relationships? Seems like lots of gay dudes — and lots of straight people, too, actually — are in open relationships.

SHAWN: I’ve never been in an open relationship, but I’ve heard being the guest is fun haha. I think at this point in my life, I wouldn’t be okay with being in one. I’m too jealous of a person, I wouldn’t like sharing. However, let’s say I was 25 years into a relationship and my partner really wanted that- for sure, I’d be willing to try it.

The thing is, too, that folks change over time, and you might have to decide if you want to roll with those changes.

MADISON: Yeah, definitely. I think if what you want to do is sleep around then by all means, get out of your relationship and sleep around, fuck your socks off. Every new relationship has its rules, and I think it’s good to go into a new relationship committed. If after a year, two years, five years, etc, you guys decide to open it up, by all means. But relationships are complicated. I know someone who is in a relationship with two guys, and one of the guys has a side girlfriend!!!

SHAWN: Is it bad that if I caught a boyfriend sending sexy snapchats or texts, I would probably be over it in a week…but physical cheating would devastate me.

MADISON: Lez be honest, by “sexy snapchats” u mean dick pics. Any type of cheating is bad, that’s why it’s called cheating. But I think it helps to think of it in terms of “chasing.”

SHAWN: What do you mean by chasing? Like, if I saw my boyfriend hitting on another boy at the bar… I think I would be very unsettled. It would make me wonder what he is doing when I’m NOT there.

MADISON: You should be unsettled. Every relationship is different and the people in them need different things, so it’s hard to say with any certainty. But if you know that you need that boy to be all about you, then that’s u. I think “the chase”

SHAWN: Do you think you would be able to do a long distance relationship? Because I like to think I could…but then it comes back to this idea of what is he doing when i’m not around. And that is honestly all on me, I know that. My own insecurities etc…but I don’t know if at this stage of my life I would be happy just brushing off these potential scenarios of what could happen when i’m not around.

MADISON: You will drive yourself literally insane if you do that. You have to know how to make yourself happy on your own, especially when he is not there. Of course I could do long distance, I’ve done it before. It’s hard and not necessarily fun but I always like to take the challenging route.

SHAWN: I think that raises the interesting question I’ve talked to many of my friends about- do you think relationships should be easy…or is it better for you if they’re complicated and challenging. So many of my peers want something that comes “easy,” but I’m just really baffled by what they consider “easy.”

MADISON: Oh my god, relationships are N-E-V-E-R easy. Nobody is perfect. We are all fucked up in some kind of way, so when you put two fucked up ppl in a relationship, it is never going to be a piece of cake. Everybody has issues.

SHAWN: See, yes, I’m on the same page. I think there obviously needs to be a little bit of a “honeymoon period” but the person shouldn’t do a 180 after it and become a fucking psycho out of the blue. You need to fight with your boyfriend (obviously in a healthy way) and just challenge each other in every aspect. Otherwise you’ll wake up and realize that you’re so fucking bored because you’re just playing nice.

MADISON: Exactly, it shouldn’t ever be easy or nice. Because then, what would we have to write about? TC mark

Read more essays on gay life from Shawn Binder and Madison Moore in Thought Catalog Books’ new anthology, Boys, here.

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