1. If a boy really likes you, he will wait for you at your (metaphorical) locker.
2. Whenever you’re feeling down and lonely, a fabulous (metaphorical) lip gloss is always the perfect pick me up.
3. Everyone wants to be a part of the cool crowd. Question is, HOW do you do it?
4. Our parents remember what it was like to be a totally uncool teenager in high school. Sometimes they can actually offer sage advice to help you get through it. Like giving you some awesome magical lip gloss!
5. When your lip gloss is on and poppin, everybody wants to be you.
6. Such magical lip gloss must be applied evenly for maximum impact.
7. Never pick on the nerdy guy because he will either A) out dance you or B) jack you up.
8. Lunch trays are actually fabulous percussion instruments!
9. Overalls ALWAYS make you look amazing and on trend.
10. Striped tube socks worn over jeans? Yes.
11. Girls with cheap lip gloss/life choices hate your guts because they can’t get it together like you can.
12. Sometimes people will admire you from afar and beg to know just how you do it — like the school principal/your boss!
13. Lip gloss, of course, is just a metaphor for confidence and feeling great about yourself, because you are super!
14. Take a moment to find out what your best body part is and accentuate that shit.
15. It’s always better to just be yourself and not rely on something else to make you feel great about yourself. When you do start to feel good about yourself, realize it’s not the lip gloss — it’s you all along.