1. The Nagging
You love your parents and everything but ugh they are ALWAYS nagging. Whether it’s to tell you to spend less time in the Internet or to question your most recent hair color, rest assured your parents WILL have something to say about your life choices. That’s the one great thing about living away from them. When you do talk to them on the phone they have no idea that you maybe “gained a few pounds” since they saw you last or that you got your septum pierced, whoops. Of course they mean well but moving in with them is you basically setting yourself up for constant critique for every decision you make.
2. You’re Going To Have A Curvew
Hahahahaha you can say goodbye to the days of going out until 6 a.m., rolling through the door panties on your head, completely shit faced. Oh not because you can’t do it anymore but because your parents are going to want you home by a “reasonable hour.” Of course you’ll fight them with “I’m an adult!” and they will sock you with the ever classic, “My house, my rules. We don’t want you out all night at those ‘discotheques’.” Even if your parents are super awesome and totally dope and they don’t give you some dumb curfew you will still experience the psychological damage of coming home super late in your folks’ house. When you live with a roommate, you don’t care what s/he thinks about what time you come home/the state you’re in when you walk through the door. Your parents are your parents, though, and you want them to be proud.
3. You Will Be Living In Your Childhood Bedroom.
With that too small bed along with old, dusty yearbooks, toys, NSYNC memorabilia, cute dumb Spencer’s posters you thought were so awesome when you were like 15. It might feel nostalgic for a while but soon it will get a little claustrophobic. And that’s only if your mom hasn’t already chucked out all your shit and converted that bad puppy into a workout room/yoga studio!
4. They Are Definitely Not Going To Let You Sleep Until Noon.
So you can just forget that. Either they let you sleep until noon and then come at you for it when you finally wake up OR they are the kind of parents who get up at 5 a.m. and start doing stuff. Loud stuff.
5. No More Creative Sex All Over The House.
And really, no more sex at home period. You probably won’t be bringing people over at all, period. Do you really want to have sex with someone in your childhood bed? No you do not. But even if that part doesn’t bother you, you won’t be free to experiment by having sex in different rooms/on different pieces furniture etc. because they could storm through the door any minute. Countless obstacles.
6. It’s Going To Be Difficult To Nurse A Hangover.
Are you going to have mom bring you some warm soup?
7. You Will Actually Have To Do Your Chores.
We have all had those weeks where you just don’t feel like picking up anything. The dirty clothes are in a pile on the floor, dishes are in the sink and you keep the bottle of wine under your bed to help you drift to sleep. That’s fine, but when you live with your parents you are going to feel pressure to not be such a slob. Like your mom or dad is going to clean the kitchen and if you make any food or do anything to disturb this harmonious cleanliness you are going to get scolded. If you leave one cup in a sink that has zero dishes in it your parents are going to EXPLODE.
8. Your Sibling Is A Nosy Little Tattle Tale.
Which means absolutely NO privacy.
9. Constant Pressure To Move out.
As if making it through college one red cup at a time wasn’t hard enough, now you have to deal with your parents who are constantly asking/wondering when you are moving out. You’ll get into a fight and no matter what happens they will always be able to say, “WHY DON’T YOU JUST MOVE OUT.” They love u and they want to help u but at a certain point you gotta get to steppin! You sort of don’t want to be there and they sort of don’t want you to be there. And remember: your presence also means that they can’t have fun, creative sex in the gazebo like they do when you aren’t there!