15 Signs You Are Actually Blanche Devereaux

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1. You have been handcuffed for 32 hours — and NOT in a prison cell mind you.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQhHud7aCps&w=584&h=390]

It is your personal best.

2. You KNOW You Look Good.

How dare anyone tell you any differently?

3. You have ever made yourself so hot and bothered that u had to cool yourself off with couple spritzes of water!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5Bk15accXc&w=584&h=390]

You’re just that hot and confident.

4. No matter how depressed you get, you know that cheesecake will be there to save u.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoxEcD5jaq4&w=584&h=390]

So yummy.

5. Surprises have a tendency to make you jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoxEcD5jaq4&w=584&h=390]

That’s pretty jumpy, isn’t it?

6. You have absolutely perfected the art of lying about your age!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNBan-SzXCA&w=584&h=390]

So many things to do in life before you turn “40”!

7. You really like to take a deep breath before you greet a man because it thrusts your breasts forward!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-HMCsV7nr8&w=584&h=390]

Don’t forget all that stuff we learned about having amazing posture.

8. You are definitely NOT afraid to buy condoms out in society.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kOewRGhtx8&w=584&h=390]

Condoms, Rose. Condoms! Condoms! Condoms!

9. You secretly know that the best way to spend a Saturday night is to watch an adult movie, French kiss and drink mimosas with your besties!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP04pXH-Dwk&w=584&h=390]

Like, what else is there to do?

10. Lesbians are so cool.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRoKiwmgFkw&w=584&h=390]

And then there was that one time you got mad that your lesbian friend prefered your slightly less attractive friend over you!

11. You know that there’s nothing better than a fabulous outfit reveal accompanied by a song and dance!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qvsddNThHs&w=584&h=390]

What a way to drive all the mens wild.

12. Sometimes people just make you so angry, you know?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpHjRKdJ-5Q&w=584&h=390]

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you DROP DEAD.

13. And sometimes you get so mad at people that you can just SCREAM.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-uY2jw-ZGM&w=584&h=390]

RAARWWWWRRRRRRRR!!!!!

14. You don’t take your breasts out in public.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LkIJWemw_M&w=584&h=390]

…A Lot.

15. When in trouble, you try to quote from the Bible

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It’s the only thing that’s been in more hotels rooms than you have and you can’t even quote it.

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