How To Be The Single Friend

Miguel Angel Vilela
Miguel Angel Vilela

We all love our friends to death, but I know you roll your eyes at them just a little when they start dating somebody new. It always happens. You guys have your things that you do, and there’s that thing you always laugh at and you text each other for hours about stupid stuff. But as soon as your BFF starts dating someone new, it’s almost like you don’t really count anymore. Actually it’s exactly like you don’t exist anymore. I mean, you know they still love you, but you guys don’t talk as much as you used to, they disappear into thin air sometimes, start talking about themselves in the royal relationship “we” and basically you get slightly jealous over time. It’s hard to see your best friend leave you for someone else, but what can you do? You do want them to be happy after all, right?

It’s one thing when one of your friends starts dating someone, but what about when ALL of your friends start dating people? That of course leaves you high and dry as the only loser without a lover.

Annnnnnnd that’s when you become the single friend. It sucks being the single friend, because we live in a culture of COUPLING and if you are not coupled, you do nothing without being reminded of how single you are, why does nobody like you. There is obviously something wrong with you if you are single at the age of 33, you should see somebody and figure out what’s wrong. UH, NO. Don’t mope about being single, and don’t let OkCupid or J-Date or whatever make you feel bad about your life choices.

Put that pie down and love yourself! Not all relationships are created equal, and believe me, those fucking happy couples you see waltzing around the city? It’s not ALL smiles and morning sex.

When you’re the only single friend, you have to try to get out there and meet people anyway, even if you’re not trying to meet them to date. Join clubs, do activities, and most of all don’t look for a new relationship. Relationships work best when they just happen. They’re not something you can just plan, exactly.

Which is why you should demand that your friends not sent you up on dates with people!!! Tell them to not even “accidentally” put you “in touch” with “a co-worker who I think you would get along with.” I mean, sure, it’s one thing to go out on dates, but getting set up? Come ON.

Enjoy being single, because there are so many things that you get to do when you are single that basically stop when you’re in a relationship — things you’ll inevitably start to miss once you do get into a relationship. We all hide parts of ourselves to stay totally compatible with one another. But more to the point, who do you think your friends are going to come to the second something goes wrong in their fabulous relationship? They’re going to come to YOU because you are the single friend.

In some ways, they’re envious of you. They want to be you, free of relationship problems, even though they love the person they are with.

When you are the single friend, you have to make sure you have your friend’s back at all costs. They may have ditched you for more romantic pastures, but you still love them anyway. You owe it to them to be honest about their relationship — like if the person they are dating is an ass twat, you need to spell it out for them. Not because you want to say I told you so if things don’t work out, but because you love them in a way that their current love interest can’t. TC mark

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