There is absolutely no “right” way to feel when your heart is broken. Your friend’s mean well when they say, “Girl, you shouldn’t even be broken up over that loser. You deserve better.”
Because they see your value… but maybe at one time he did too. And maybe he held your hand just the right way. Maybe he laughed when an older couple pointed out the two of you were, “just like a painting together” and said, “No, that’s all her.”
Maybe he whispered in a quiet voice, “this is home” when he had his strong arms wrapped around you. Maybe his eyes sincerely lit up when you walked into the room. Maybe he laughed at your jokes. Maybe there was honesty and fun and tenderness between the two of you.
But then again, maybe you also cried when you realized you weren’t first in his heart. Maybe your heart shattered when you came to know what not having his attention and affection felt like. Maybe it was crushed to even smaller bits when you had to come to terms with the fact that you wouldn’t have him the way you wanted him.
So maybe you get angry first. Or sad first. Or incapable of moving first. Or maybe you cry first. Or maybe you save all your tears because you refuse to cry over that asshole. Or maybe you have “we hate him” shots with your best friends.
Whatever you do for that crushed, stomped on, and mauled beating organ in your body is the absolute best thing you can do for you. Because having your heart broken over someone you weren’t ready to give up is QUITE POSSIBLY the most soul crushing feeling on this planet.
We can tell ourselves over and over again that we shouldn’t feel hurt by someone who chose not to stay; because that automatically makes them not worth our time and love, right? Ugh… probably.
But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t get the good things out of our heads. We just can’t. People will continue to tell us how we “should” feel about it. But truthfully, until we just feel it, we rob ourselves of truly being able to stagger back to our feet and trudge forward toward healing.
So please please please, you broken hearted individual, cry all the tears. Scream all the screams. Even wail all the wails you need to.
Listen to the truly tragic love songs from broken hearts that have come before you and feel one with them for a second.
Take a walk and cry that he’s not with you… then keep walking.
Cry with friends… laugh with friends… then cry with friends a little more. You can even let your friends rant about how you should feel about that scumbag, because there’s a part of you that will heal just from knowing they care.
So, my dear broken hearted person, live and love on.
Just don’t you dare tell yourself what you can and cannot feel. And maybe tomorrow or six months from now you will feel the sunshine of true healing on your tear stained face.