The truth is she wants you to feel the pain.
She doesn’t wish you the best now even if she said she did. No one truly does right away. She wants you to learn from all the good you lost because of the shit you couldn’t stop. She’s bitter. And she’s heartbroken.
She took your abuse and finally decided to get out of it for good this time. It was better for the both of you. You weren’t good together, and she knew that if she stayed with you, she would only be enabling the mistreatment and preventing you from growing into the man you may become for someone else.
You were someone she had faith she could change into a better man without her because with her, you would never realize you can’t treat people you love through manipulation and insecurities. You need to overcome them alone, because frankly that’s what drove you two apart.
Your mind games didn’t work on her as it did on others because she’s stronger. She didn’t let you.
She wants you to suffer like she is. She wants you to feel your chest tightening when you can’t stop the memories flooding your brain every minute of every day.
She wants you to feel the way she felt when you said failed relationships were a waste of time. She hopes it cripples you to creep on her Facebook and see her still living the independent life you no longer admired like you once did because it made you so insecure about where you stood in her life. You started
trying to control her. She hopes you compare her to the new person you rebounded to and only wish you still had her.
She wants you to feel regret and genuine remorse for the shit you put her
through. She wants you to miss her as much as she misses you. You were and still are a broken person. You’re a product of your upbringing, and that was your excuse. She physically felt your pain through her connection to you, and because of it, she wanted to show you what she knew love to be through her experiences. She was more than ready to share her family with you, so that you knew what unconditional love felt like.
But soon, she realized that it wasn’t going to be enough. You pushed her so far away. And you know what else?
She eventually realized that only because you were dealt a shitty hand in life, didn’t mean she was responsible to pick up the never-ending pieces that always fell to hurt her. She knew other people with hard starts who didn’t turn to cruelty when they felt insecure.
It’s a choice. She was tired of making excuses to her friends when they told her she deserved to have more happy moments in a relationship than sad. She felt sick to her stomach to think she would be yet another person close to you who made you feel like you weren’t enough.
The difference is, this time it wasn’t actually someone else making you feel that way, it was you being unable to do the important things. All she demanded was respect; she never felt heard or understood. She gave you chances, but the warped actions you took to keep her only pushed her further each time you tried to tear her down and control her.
So no, she doesn’t wish you the best with your rebound you knew was pawing at your door even before you two broke up. In a way, it makes her feel better she’s not with you. She can see how weak you are. You didn’t have the strength to deal with the emotions of losing something you, yourself, repelled.
She has felt it all. Processing, grieving, learning. She’s taking the pain
and making something beautiful from it, instead of avoiding it. She’s dealing with the consequences of dating you. All she wants is for you to LEARN.
Honestly, she doesn’t want you to be happy right now. She’s heartbroken and it’s your fault. She had to give up the guy she loved because she was raised to accept nothing less of what she offered to you. It’s sad for both of you, but she’s not in a place to wish any good upon you at the moment.
But she will be. Someday, because of who she is, enough time will have passed to think of you and genuinely hope all the happiness in the world comes your way. But for now, she hopes you are feeling every bit of the pain she’s going through, if not more. And you should be. Do yourself a favor and embrace it.
Learn from it. Don’t let it happen with the next person you love as much
as you did her. Because ultimately, in the end she does want you to be happy, and just maybe you’ll actually be able to keep the next one.