Even Though You Were Just My Almost Love You Still Mean Something To Me

Today you are happy, in love and successful. All the things we used to talk about, dream about and joke about. The future, our hopes and dreams regardless if one another were around to witness each other’s successes. I remember the time when you may not have believed in yourself but from the day I met you I always believed in you. To most you were kind, ambitious and confident even if you were struggling on the inside. With me that kindness and ambition came with a side of vulnerability, fear and uncertainty. You let me see the real you – I wish I could pretend I am surprised by where you are today and how far you have come but I can’t.

I knew it all along, I was just waiting for you to see it for yourself. 

Back then, when we were just kids I used to think that you needed me. That for some reason we crossed paths at a time when you needed me most. I was wrong. You didn’t need me at all. In fact, it was the other way around and you might have been what I needed more and for that I have never thanked you.

No matter how much time has passed, or how far apart we may be I want you to know that I am genuinely happy for you and hope that somewhere along the way I may have been able to contribute to that happiness in some way, the way you did for me.

Thank you for teaching me how to care for someone, to be vulnerable, to be imperfect and allowing me to share my deepest struggles even if today our happiness isn’t reliant on one another.

Selfishly, I still wonder how you are doing, if you are really happy with her and if you ever think of me or the nights we shared. The way I sometimes do, during the loneliest hours after midnight even if I would never admit it to another living soul.