Goodbye, Almost Lover

Believe me when I say that I wished my future could be with you. I truly had visions and dreams of us living our best lives together, but eventually a storm came. I shared memories with you that I won’t ever be able to replace.

Falling in love with you was not something I had planned. We were the best of friends. We shared many nights of dancing, shopping, eating, and hanging out before it ever turned into something else. But slowly, as I got to truly know your soul, I fell in love with all of your tiny details.

Eventually things changed—we kissed.

And when we kissed, it was the only time anyone had truly given me butterflies. I will never forget that moment of pure bliss. You were the first person I said I love you to, and honey, I meant it. I loved you with all of my heart, and a part of me always will.

But despite the deep love I had, life got in the way. You were from a foreign place and had to go back home. I knew our love was too fresh to try long distance when you had to go, and you chose to go back to an ex-lover. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be alone. However, you didn’t see the tears I cried when you wouldn’t pick up the phone. I tried to understand your reasons why, knowing my heart was not ready for a simple goodbye.

God, I knew my love was so beautiful and intense, but I did not know how to live with your absence. You see, losing a relationship is hard, but losing an almost lover is nearly unbearable. You obsess over every detail, the would’ve, could’ve, should’ves, and are left replaying every precious memory in your head.

Then some time passes and you realize the battle you are fighting is hindering you from the current life you need to live. Of course holding on to who you love and finally learning to let go isn’t an easy choice, but I know if I didn’t, it would have been a huge mistake.

I eventually made the choice to not keep living in the past. I visited an old flame of my own to see if my heart would heal. I mean, I knew we had passion in the past, so why not now?

I learned the hard lesson that each love has an irreplaceable quality about them. Love, I am truly thankful for all the time that we had together, and I will cherish our memories forever. But I am moving on, sweetheart, because I have too.

We didn’t get the happy ending we deserved, but that doesn’t mean we never will. I truly believe we will both find loves that captivate our heart in the most beautiful of ways. I wish you the very best in love and in life.

Goodbye, my almost lover.