To the one afraid of the loss—I hear you.
You have not yet lived what’s possible on the other side of your pain, so you cannot even begin to imagine it.
To the one afraid of the loss—I see you.
Your heart has given itself over fully to the heart of another, so the breaking you feel is equal to the depth you created.
To the one afraid of the loss—I feel you.
I know your body feels weak at the idea of letting go of something that brought so much joy to your life.
To the one going through a breakup—I know your confusion.
Right now, you are unsure of what is right and what is wrong. You are questioning the breakup because the hurt you feel is so immense. Should something that’s meant to be feel so painful?
You are spending your time thinking about all of the times you could have done something differently. You are thinking about all the late nights you spent together, intertwined in the sheets, losing track of time. You are fearing the idea of no longer making spontaneous trips to the grocery store to grab ingredients for your dinner. You are missing the warmth of their shoulders as you caress their back. You are longing for their chest—the one you laid your head on so many nights when you were crying from the stresses of life.
Dear one, you are only focusing on what you are going to miss, because you can only know what you have lived. All you see is how good times were, as the future is still a blank slate with nothing to recall.
Love yourself through this, for you have not yet experienced what is around the corner. You may feel weak at the thought of your separation, but you also know you have to be brave.
You can love all the beautiful things about what you had together while also believing there is something even better waiting for the both of you.
My love, you are going to feel the loss. You are going to grieve. You are going to miss their laughter, their heartbeat, their quirks, their desires, their energy. You are going to yearn for their smile, their humor, their specific flavor of weird, their body.
This is part of falling in love.
And one day, you are going to enjoy late nights intertwined in sheets, the clinking glasses of wine watching Netflix, the sharing of sleep shirts, running to the grocery store for impromptu dinner ingredients, dancing in the kitchen, dressing up for each other and laughing at nothing—with someone else. And they are going to take you into the depths of love again.
Because that is what humans do. We are afraid of the loss because we are so in love with deep connection. And deep connection is what we are good at.