Be with someone who gives you more grace than you give yourself.
Find a partner who encourages you to let go as much as he encourages you to never give up. Attract a soul mate that knows the value in celebrating your failures as much as you celebrate your wins.
What keeps life interesting is the constant ebb and flow of the cycles that make up life. We enter new chapters, phases and seasons almost every day. If we succeeded and found perfection in every chapter from day one, how would we ever learn? If we found our perfect partner when we were 18, how would we learn what we like and dislike in relationships? If we mastered a skill on the first try, why would we keep showing up to practice?
The “downs” in life are our greatest teachers and it’s often our habit of comparing ourselves to others that keeps us from acknowledging and even loving these periods of growth. We expect the most from ourselves. We expect excellent. We desire perfection. We expect to achieve excellence from the start (because we know we are capable of doing amazing).
While this can come from a good place in our hearts, it keeps us from connecting to the deeper truths that are available to gain during those learning periods. If we are spending all our time frustrated and beating ourselves up for the lack of perfection, we won’t have time or space to pause and wonder what lessons we can learn amidst the pain.
Life is one big growing pain. Begin appreciating it on a day-to-day basis now, so you can look back when you’re 80, and appreciate all of the lessons that made up the life you know as yours.
Find someone who can see this for you. Find someone who will gently remind you to be easy on yourself. Find someone who will not add to your shame in your season of discovery, but will help make the most of it.
While you are learning to become your greatest source of support, find a partner who can show you how. A partner in shine and sometimes a partner in crime. Someone who can laugh at the bad times and do naked handstands when you’re angry at each other. Someone who sees your brilliance and knows it’s there, even during the crying fits and periods of anxiety.
Find someone who doesn’t need to constantly hear your voice to know you have one. Find someone who knows you’re a leader even when you are following. Find someone who can remind you to surrender even though you’re strong as hell.
Find a partner who sees your tears and calls you strong. Someone who sits by your side when you’re unreasonably emotional and thanks you for opening up. A person who doesn’t need proof of your passion to know you have ambition.
Find someone who will gently whisper to you to give yourself some grace in moments you have none left.