10 Ways Writing My Senior Thesis Is Better Than A Random Hookup

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I’m a senior at Harvard studying Classical Languages and Music. For my thesis, I’m completing an original translation of a Greek tragedy and adapting it into an original musical composition. This weekend, I neglected my thesis because my crush started making advances. Here is my reflection on the decisions I made.
10. When I’m with my thesis and need to pee, that’s fine. I can pee as many times as I want.
9. My thesis is based on a text 2,451 years old, so it’s gotten over the hormonal aggression of its 20’s and can treat me like a woman.
8. I can spend as much time with my thesis as I want—in public or in private, casually or intimately. It doesn’t have to involve being drunk after midnight (though it can).
7. I can wear sweatpants, no makeup, and glasses when I’m with my thesis.
6. My thesis understands that it’s impossible for me to tell a love story without telling the story of every boy I’ve ever loved, and my thesis doesn’t recoil at that “baggage.”
5. My thesis needs me.
4. Sometimes, I cry when I write my thesis, and that’s okay.
3. I can flirt with other work and my thesis doesn’t get jealous because my thesis knows it’s the only thing really in my heart.
2. Time with my thesis doesn’t have to take time away from other things I love, like tea, candles, friends, food, and blankets.
1. Sometimes, I don’t have fun with my thesis, and I don’t feel social pressure to pretend I do.