7 Realities Of Hooking Up That We Need To Accept Already

Crazy Stupid Love
Crazy Stupid Love

1. Preemptively saying “I don’t want a relationship right now” does not excuse you from blame when some form of a relationship inevitably exists.

Repeatedly hooking up with someone creates a dynamic of intimacy and knowledge of each other that puts you in a relationship whether you like it or not. If you don’t want one, don’t engage in regular interactions with someone. And if you do, don’t get mad when your initial disclaimer doesn’t mean shit.

2. If you’re going to repeatedly have sex with someone, you do not have the right to get upset if (when) they develop feelings for you.

It’s what you expected, right? Isn’t that why you prefaced the whole thing with that lame line? Yes, you were trying to cover your ass. Sorry, that’s not actually how things work.

3. It isn’t a competition to see who can care less.

You don’t get points for acting like a superior, cold-hearted douchebag. If someone starts to care more and you see that as a win, you’re the saddest loser of them all.  Don’t do mean things, don’t be rude, and if you see each other in public, smile, say hi, and be kind – even if you don’t want to. If you can roll around naked with someone, you can suck it up and be polite after the fact.

4. There are always strings.

Always. And if you live in the same college town and you met at a bar, there’s like, a gazillion strings. You frequent the same social scene – you will run into each other again and there will be some sort of aftermath of your hook-up. Accept it, handle it, or don’t let it happen to begin with.

5. People aren’t “crazy” for wanting and expecting more from you than you’re willing to give.

Girls aren’t crazy for thinking that the things you said to her last night were genuine. Guys aren’t crazy for thinking that you giving him your number means you’d like to see him again. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. If you don’t want to see someone again, don’t give him or her the impression that you do. Is this really that hard?

6. Someone’s willingness to engage in a sexual relationship with you but not a romantic one does not make them a whore, a slut, a heartless jerk, or anything similar.

It makes them someone who accepted an opportunity they were interested in and declined one in which they weren’t. We don’t always get what we want, so grow up and get over it.

7. Don’t try to make things more than what they are.


If you chatted at a bar while 5 drinks deep, made out on the dance floor, and then had sloppy (albeit awesome) sex at 4 am, accept that it probably isn’t going anywhere. Crawl home early and sleep off your hangover in your own bed. Don’t get pissed if they don’t text you, or if when they do, it’s obviously just a booty call. Embrace it or ignore it, but don’t be angry. Because really, did you honestly believe it would turn into anything more?

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