Step 1: Pick a Target
The ideal target is someone you’ve never really interacted with before, but whom you see on a semi-regular basis. You want to know – or be able to guess – enough about them to give them a basic shape in your imagination, but not so much that you won’t be able to mold them to your preferences at all. For best results, your target should have physical characteristics that you find attractive.
Warning: We strongly recommend not picking someone you know very well, even if you know someone with romantic feelings towards you. The possibility of an imaginary relationship becoming real often ruins the experience, particularly when the real-life target drastically differs from the imaginary version. For more on disastrous consequences, see step 4.
Step 2: Start Imagining
While the beginning of the imaginary relationship varies from person to person, most like to start – logically enough – at the beginning. Imagine the circumstances that would bring you and your significant other together. Feel free to utilize familiar environments, people, or objects to make the imaginary meeting more realistic; the more realistic it is, the more satisfying.
Helpful Hint: Remember that your imaginary significant other is yours to mold as you like; you can give or take away personality traits freely, according to your preferences. Disregard implausibility and banish the phrase “too good to be true” from your mind.
Step 3: Let Your Imagination Run Wild!
Once the initial connection is pictured, imaginations tend to run off on their own! Soon, you’ll be imagining your first date, your first kiss – all the way to your wedding day (if that’s what you want). The nature, intensity, and length of your relationship are yours to decide.
Step 4: Avoid Target in Real Life
The most important step in imaginary relationships is being careful not to mix up what’s imaginary and what’s real. It’s imperative to remember that your real target has not imagined the same wonderful moments you have and does not know you as well as you know imaginary him – or even at all. Try to maintain a safe distance from your target in real life and, for the love of God, do not attempt to start a relationship with your target under the impression that he or she will be exactly the same as you imagined. This does not work and always ends in disappointment, due to the fact that the person you have imagined is, shockingly enough, not real – no matter how real your feelings for him or her may have felt inside your deranged mind.
Warning: Imaginary Relationship Inc. cannot be held responsible for the consequences of any imaginary relationships customers may choose to participate in and will not fund the rehabilitation of any such consequences, including – but not limited to – severe schizophrenia, hysteria, alcohol and substance abuse, and depression.