11 New Code Words For Women To Use On Their Night Out

Welcome to the Aviary Scale. This system was devised as a series of code words to allow you and your besties to enjoy meeting scores of new bros within effortless, drama-free parameters. Or at least enjoy a drunken, debaucherous night out without ruining every single one of your friendships forever.
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1. Eagle: the quintessential “Haaaaave you met Ted?” move. You go in to talk to a guy with the express purpose of hooking your friend up with him. Not to be confused with the “wingman” move, where you go talk to the less attractive friend in order to hook your friend up with the person he or she has “ducked”.

2. Duck: this is the equivalent of calling dibs. If you call a duck on a guy, he’s off limits to all of your friends, up until the point he is declared a goose. Other people’s geese can become ducks, but ONLY after that person has officially declared them a goose.

3. Goose: when you’re initially interested and talking to a guy, and decide that he is no longer of interest, you can call him a goose. This will release him back into the wild to go become some spray tanned blonde’s duck.

4. Pigeon: a guy that you absolutely want nothing to do with whatsoever. Calling a pigeon has no strategic function, and is more for labeling/entertainment purposes. (ex: “black shirt has duck potential, but green shirt is a total pigeon.” Or “Pigeon, pigeon, pigeon. It’s like a New York City sidewalk in here.”)

5. Vulture: to accidentally or intentionally move on someone’s duck, after duck has officially been called, when the duck has NOT been relinquished as goose. Friendships end.

6. Flamingo: to approach a potential duck, and engage in conversation only to immediately realize that your duck is actually interested in the duck behind him. It is better to call a flamingo yourself before your friends have to call it for you.  Additionally, calling flamingo MAY NOT be used as a decoy to encourage someone to goose a duck that you are attempting to vulture.

7. “Tweet tweet”: alerts your friends to the existence of a possible “nest”.

8. Nest: a group of two or more attractive guys. Attractiveness reached by consensus of two or more members of your group who agree to duck members of the nest.

9. Double duck: when one or more people in your group call duck at the same time. Settled by rock paper scissors. It is not permissible to call duck on more than one guy in any given nest, unless your initial duck or any subsequent ducks are first relinquished as geese.

10. “Ca-caw”: DISTRESS CALL. PLEASE ADVISE AND/OR ASSIST. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

11. The Golden Egg: closing like Koji Uehara with your duck of choice. TC mark

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