An Open Letter To The Friend I Fucked Over For A Stupid Boy

Hey there.

It’s me. I know I am the last person you want to talk to.

But, it’s me.

I was a shitty person. I know I was. You were my friend. And I was your friend. I cared about you. I still care about you. I will never stop caring about you.

But, I guess what you’re probably thinking is- if I care about you as much as I say I do, then why did I hurt you?

I can’t give you all the answers. I can give you one answer, that I know you won’t like, but I don’t know. I never had intentions of ever hurting you. I didn’t enter our friendships scheming of the day I would break your heart. I love you. You were my best friend. I would go to the end of the world for you.

Nothing I say to you will change what I did. But, I want to apologize. I need to apologize. And what I need, even more, is for you to accept my apology. I think about you all the time. I think about how you are doing in school, and how you are doing. I still find your clothes around my room. I miss you. I miss you with everything inside of me.

I know things will never go back to normal. They’ll never go back to the way they used to be, and I am okay with that. Our friendship will never be repaired; I’ve accepted that. But, I value making amends with you more than anything.

I fucked you over for a chance at love. While I was busy chasing my love story, I left your heart in shambles. I just had this idea in my head that I would be happy for once, and I forgot about your happiness. I was selfish. Your happiness is more important than mine, but that didn’t stop me.

I want nothing more for you to be happy in life, and I hope that I didn’t ruin your chances at happiness. I hope you find everything you are looking for in life and more. I hope your happiness runs from the highest mountain to the bottom of the sea. I hope you follow your dreams and never stop believing in yourself. You are capable of anything and everything.

I will not stop believing in you. I will not stop cheering you on from the sidelines. You are unstoppable and I am proud that I had the honor of being your best friend.

I should have said this a long time ago,

I’m sorry.

Basic college girl by day. Aspiring author by night.