To The Sarcastic Bitches

woman leaning on balcony
Demetrius Washington / Unsplash

Candace Bushnell said, “Funny always makes the bad things go away.”

I think Candace meant to say: Sarcasm always makes the bad things go away.

Yeah, that sounds more like it.

So.

I’ve been a sarcastic bitch for quite a while now.

When did it happen? I’ve got it narrowed it down to somewhat of a time frame.

Why did it happen? Oh gosh, I’ve got a few theories.

Am I happy it happened? Well, why don’t you just keep on reading?

Sometimes I can come off as heartless. Yup. Stone cold status. I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s all an act.

Sarcasm… as convenient as it can be, is really just a defense mechanism. If I’m scared or intimidated or insecure or in pain. I hurt the people around me. It’s selfish. I know, it’s selfish. When something bothers me, I have a hard time letting go. No joke. I’ll replay the scenario in my head again and again and again as a desperate attempt to try and destroy the lingering pain. So rather than tackle my feelings head-on, like a normal person, I prefer to make the whole situation into a joke.

In all reality, I really just come off as a rude person. Eh. No. Let’s not sugarcoat anything here. I come off as a complete asshole who takes the joke a little too far. And I’m okay with that. I’d rather someone think that I’m an ass, then know how I feel. I just want to look like I have it all together.

I hate, absolutely hate when I start to feel vulnerable. When I start to look vulnerable. I feel like a weak link in life.

It’s just that I have this crazy idea in my head that everyone at one point or another is going to hurt me. So, in some weird way, my sarcasm blocks people from getting too close to me. It’s much simpler to hurt others with meaningless comments before they get a chance to hurt you.

But, I am strong.

I might turn everything into a joke. I might not confront my problems or approach every or any situation in the proper manner, but I am strong. I can get through the worse days with a cocky asshole attitude. The saddest and darkest days with a smirk and a sense of humor.

Sometimes I get sick of this act. As much as it has become a part of me, I want it gone. But, here’s the game changer.

PSA to all my sarcastic bitches out there:

One day you’ll meet someone and oh, they’ll see right through the act. It’s comforting. I think I met my person. I really think I did. He sees through the act, and trust me he’s not afraid to give it right back. It’s like this breath of fresh air you know. You’ll meet a person who shows you that it’s okay to show your weaknesses. A person who shows you that you don’t have to create this man-made shield of sarcasm to cloak yourself from reality. A person who will break down all of the brick walls you’ve built. Slowly, but surely tear down every single last brick wall. 

This person will see right through that eye roll and fake laugh and all the “I hate you(s).” Like a game of Jenga, he will pull apart the wooden blocks to reveal the real you. Not the sarcastic bitch persona.

Sarcastic girls are the strongest. And of course, the sweetest.

To all my sarcastic bitches: let me hear you roar.

Sure we have a weird way of showing how we feel, but at least we’re all in this together. It’s not a crime to crack a joke.

It’s easier to express my emotions through sarcasm and guess what…

IDGAF. TC mark

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