Truthfully, I’ve been struggling to find my voice in writing for a while now. Everything I previously focused on seemed juvenile and basic, topics not hitting the same as they once did.
I’ve enjoyed writing for as long as I can remember, starting out on napkins or doodles in an old diary. It was my first genuine passion, the reason behind my higher education. I’ve always loved the impact that words can have, how they can paint a picture, alter any life situation, or give you a powerful platform.
It’s more evident as you get older that just because you love to do something doesn’t mean you’re actually good at this said thing. Abrupt as this may be, it’s still the truth in the matter.
This was looming over me when it came to words. I was starting articles and stopping halfway with an unfinished thought. I felt like I was losing my voice in the pieces. Worse, I questioned whether I even had a worthy one in the first place.
I was so focused on this immediate life revelation that I wasn’t taking a step back, looking at the bigger (and borderline obvious) picture. My voice isn’t the same because I’m not the same as I was a few years back. My likes and dislikes have shifted, my values and opinions molding.
What was happening was growth. The changes can be profound or subtle throughout life, but with moments of nostalgia hitting us every once in a while, as if to remind us of it all.
Growth can be seen in leaving friendships that felt more like a job than effortless. It’s also the subconscious reason we trade in our quiet hometowns for the endless noise. We’re all making attempts at seeing more, being more.
Growth is the reason we leave work environments when we start to feel stagnant or we’re not getting what we deserve. It’s seen when moving through failures, but just as much within the accomplishments. We grow apart from people that we never imagined losing, in the end turning out to be exactly what was needed.
This country isn’t close to perfect, but nonetheless we’ve witnessed growth in acceptance. Humility and compassion for people who love who they love, believe in what they believe in. Your weight and skin complexion are signs of beauty, differences embraced instead of ridiculed. Children are undoubtedly growing up in a dark world, but with some of the brightest lights shining through that we’ve worked so hard to create.
Growth is hard to pin down. There’s no calculation or timeline where it happens to everyone at the same time. Some people decide to actively work towards it, and others grow up because they have to—life doesn’t always give them a choice.
Maybe my voice in writing will come back like it never left, or I’ll develop an entirely different one altogether. No matter what happens, though, there is nowhere to go but forward.
And sometimes, that’s all the reassurance that we need.