Growing up, I took note of the way my dad would always bring home little gifts for my mom ‘just because.’ I noticed the way my grandpa would crack a joke on my grandmother’s behalf, but give her a kiss on the cheek after to make sure she knew that he still loved her no matter what was said.
Being around them so much, all I had ever known was that it was possible for everyone to be meant for one person, and that one person had the ability to make you incredibly happy.
With these values etched into my brain at a young age, it always throws me for a loop when I see guys sweep girls off their feet and then find someone else to do the same to in the next motion.
Guys portray themselves to be oblivious to anything that involves seriousness. But, it doesn’t take someone like Nancy Drew to see that they are always smarter than the look on their face makes them out to be.
They know what a girl wants to hear in order to get what they want. These are the kind of guys that are aware of what to say in order to make a girls heart flutter for weeks after.
They know this, and instead of acknowledging and respecting it, they use it to their advantage. The most fun girls to persuade into their corner are the ones who know better to begin with — the ones who could make things interesting for the guy.
After all, it is part of the challenge.
I mean, what’s the fun in going after something when you already know the results? That’s like deciding to read a book when you already know the ending of it. There’s no anticipation, no excitement. As humans, it is natural for us crave the unknown.
So, let’s break this down.
First, a guy spots a girl. This act is similar to when a lion finds a zebra as their next prey: carnivorous. She’s put together, the type of girl that you don’t hear too many stories about. She’s one of the good ones. The wheels start turning with a plan now that he sees a big area with little to no markings—he is ready to leave his print.
Then, he finds his way in. Whether it is a ballsy approach in a coffee shop or the classic swoop-in at the bar, he makes himself known to this girl. He talks the talk, smirks the smirk, and eventually she feels something fuzzy going on inside the heart region. But she’s smart, and still keeps her distance.
This is the case, until he takes out his chisel and starts taking her walls down. They are small gestures, maybe the follow on Twitter or the like on Instagram. Or it’s the casual convo in between classes about how her day is going with lots of eye contact. It’s subtle, but totally affective. Before she knows it, and despite her best efforts, she can’t help but have a crush on this smooth talker.
Time passes, and the guy works successfully towards what he wants. Despite her strong values she has a hopeful nature about her; she is vulnerable at heart. She thinks that this low-key schmoozer could be her ticket to a kind of happiness that she has always secretly dreamed of having.
But his motives are to conquer the challenge, and not much more than that.
His eyes are on her, but they sure as hell drift. He’s after the cake but wants to eat it too, and he knows it’s just the opposite for the girl. He cares, but only enough to accomplish what he set out to do in the first place.
Just as someone like him always does after getting what he wants, he’ll start to get bored. To him, it’s like having pizza for dinner every night – you start to want something new after a while. And eventually, that is what happens.
It’s a situation that is all too familiar, especially with the Gen-Y’s of this world. You always hear of the nice guys finishing last, yet we rarely acknowledge how the good girl gets left in the dust by the boy that finds another clean slate to leave his mark on.
This is what happens when a male, with no intentions of settling, sinks his teeth into someone who just wants to be cared about by one person.
But, it is also what happens when the female who knows better thinks that this time it will be different, that she’ll be the one to change his usual ways. It’s so easy to play the ‘blame game’ when things go wrong— I’m guilty of it, and I think we all are or have been at some point in our lives.
Ladies, if you are one of these girls who only want one guy in their life, don’t be afraid to admit it. It is not a bad thing, and deep down no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise you are who you always have been. Now this doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship; it just means that when you’re interested in someone, you don’t have wandering eyes and only want to devote your time to one person.
Guys, I know you know this type. They’re the good girls who still like to have fun, but know their worth. These are the girls who should to be appreciated, not played around with just because they’re shinier and more intriguing than the rest.
Realistically, this type is probably something all of you men need — other than Jesus.