Recently my friend came to me about having feelings for someone that she was really good friends with. She was torn, because she didn’t know whether the possibility of them being something more was worth bringing up.
I knew exactly how she was feeling in the moment. It’s that pit in your stomach you can’t shake with Pepto-Bismol, and the fleeting anxiety that comes around every time you acknowledge it. Or it’s the constant wondering and the thousands of scenarios that flash in your mind.
That is what happens when you have the urge to do or say something, but not sure how to go about doing it. Every day at work, you could be thinking about what your boss would say if you asked for a raise you know you deserve. Or you could want to tell your parents something important, but are afraid of the end result.
And maybe you’re in the same situation as my friend; scared to share your true feelings to someone in fear of ruining the established friendship but constantly wondering if there’s potential for it to work out romantically.
Can you relate? If not, I’m telling you what I told my friend anyway:
Say EXACTLY how you feel.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering, is this girl nuts? Does she want me to crawl in a hole and die? You might even start panicking, taking shallow breaths at the mere thought of actually doing what I said to do.
But do you want to know what is worse, and what is most likely causing the ‘weight’ on your shoulders? The ‘what if’s’. You know, the never-ending stream of thoughts that your imagination lets run wild with possible outcomes.
Ignore the fear that inevitably runs through your veins when thinking about doing what scares you. This fear is what makes saying how you feel worth it, because it indicates that whatever it is means a lot to you.
I’m a firm believer in saying whatever is on your mind. I wasn’t always this honest– trust me. But throughout life there has been a lot of trial and error, which led me to the simple realization of life being too damn short. You don’t want to spend the little time you have on this big green earth worrying about all the ‘would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve’ s’.
It’s much better to say, “well, at least I tried” then to say, “I wish I tried” when it’s too late.
You want to ask your supervisor for more responsibilities? Do it. Want to tell your mom to finally throw out that multi-colored skirt that is cringe-worthy? It’s probably for the best. Can you not stop thinking about someone but are too scared to open the ‘can of worms’? Well, it’s time to share those romantic thoughts with this said person.
Regardless of the outcome after revealing the truth, at least you know that you did all that you could on your end. It’ll be the end of the ‘what if’s’, and will allow yourself to move on if that is what needs to be done. Kind of like letting out a big exhale when you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath.
Am I saying my plan is fool proof? Sadly, no. But what I can promise you is this: whatever you are holding under lock and key inside, it is 100% worth sharing. Don’t ever let fear tell you otherwise.