I don’t trust everything this life has to offer. I don’t cling to hopes and dreams of things that are sold by the materialistic puppeteers of this world. I don’t know much about how anything in this world operates, nor the things you must do or obtain to be considered the world’s version of “happy” or “successful.”
Of all the things that I don’t know, of all the times my mind has been mixed up and not understood, of all the times I have struggled to relate to those that need to be a part of something to feel whole or complete, I know with every breath in my body, every atom of which makes me entire, of every heart beat that drums in my chest, you.
My heart had claimed you long before I ever expected your laugh to become my absolute favorite sound in the world. I have carried you in a spot tucked away and hidden safely in my heart for years even when I didn’t always know it. Through everything life threw at me and every time my heart felt cold or lost. Somehow, I never let bitterness reach that spot, the spot that held onto the hope to find my soulmate. Call me naïve, but I never fully put two and two together. I was never sure of the fact that the reason my mind would continuously pull you out of my memories, was because you were the one that I had been praying for.
I never knew what I was praying for, but I do know I got everything I ever dreamed of and more, a man who could hold me and I’d feel completely at home whether we were in a place of peace or lying in chaos. A man whose forehead kisses double as a button that can stop the world on its axis and set my mind right, leaving me warm and untouchable to outside disorder. A praying man who holds my hands every night and talks to God with me about our future and how thankful he is to have me.
I wrote once about finding a man who fit me like my favorite grungy green flannel and knows my soul inside and out like a book he’s read 10 times over until the pages were tattered.
What I found was a man that became home. I found a man that knows things about me that I never even wrote in the book and a feeling of love I’d never read about even in the greatest love stories.
I could never express the love I have for you or the amount of gratitude I feel for my God that I am loved enough to be blessed with someone like you. The kind words you speak to me and about me, the encouraging life you speak into me, the gentleness and affection you show me by simply holding my hand is an incomprehensible reflection of God’s love for me.
So, because my heart has finally found yours after years of reaching for it, I hope you know with every breath in your body, every atom in which makes you entire, with every heart beat that drums in your chest, me. I will cherish the person that you are and take care of your heart like it’s the most important thing in my possession, because it is.
Of all the things I don’t know, I know of these certain unshakable truths. My always and forever is you. I will choose you every day until my soul spills into eternity and I will love you until then and every day after.
From the deepest part of my heart, you are my comfort, my love, and my very best friend.