If I ask God, “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” I definitely could tell what His answer would be: I am far from other people.
Being brought up by a father who is very strict, I grew up being a homebody. I was afraid to ask permission to go out since I knew that he would not allow me. This only changed when I started working.
But even though I am already allowed to go out with a few close friends, I still think I have problems with my social skills. I am always drawn back to wanting to be alone, staying inside my little home, comfortably reading a book or watching a movie.
The Feast opened a lot of doors for me. After I started being active in the different activities it offers, I started to heal myself from past hurts and allowed God’s love to overflow in my life. I started eating lunch with other members of the Singles Ministry. I learned that I can be sociable which surprises me. So every time I would say I am an introvert, they would be surprised, “‘Really?”
Stepping out of my comfort zone was just the first step. I needed to also change the way I was thinking about relationships and guys. I used to have the false beliefs that “All the good guys are taken,” or “My true love does not exist.” There are a lot of great single brothers out there, but I was too blind to notice.
Sometimes, fear would arise that I will never meet The One. And this fear still makes me impatient up to now. (I am not getting any younger!) But I realized that I should not be affected and be pressured. Commitment is a decision one must make when entering and staying in a relationship. This should not be based on outside forces.
I should not be in a relationship just because everyone is in a relationship. I should not get married just because everyone is getting married. I should be in a relationship because I am ready to commit. I should get married because I am ready to start a family of my own.
For the longest time, I have known the qualities of the person that I would like to spend my life with. And every time I share these qualities, some may think that this person does not exist because I am setting my standards high, but then I realized, God wants the best for me. So definitely, I should not settle for anything less.
I have been praying to God for this person. Someone with whom I can share the joys and sorrows of life. Someone who will make love easy. Someone who will praise, worship, serve, and love God with me. I have been praying that he loves God above all things. I have been praying that both of us are ready before we meet each other, in case I have not met him yet.
During this waiting period, I should love myself more to be able to bring the best out of me. So when I meet The One, I am already the best version of myself, ready to channel God’s love into him.
I realized the waiting period for us single men and women should not be seen as a struggle, but more like a gift from God. This waiting period allows us to reach our full potential. It gives us the time to reach for our dreams. It gives us the time to do all the things we want to do while we don’t have a family of our own. It allows us to grow more and be prepared to commit to family life. And the most important above all, it is the time to grow in the love of Christ.
So just like the lyrics from the song “While I’m Waiting,”
While I’m waiting I will serve you
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race even while I wait.