Thought Catalog

A Letter To My Dream Girl

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Dear Dream Girl,

I don’t care what you look like as long as you’ve got a nice voice. Every girl I’ve ever wanted to see a second time has had a nice voice. One once had a low thudding voice that came out of the side of her mouth; it sounded almost like a guy’s, but her face was like a doll’s. One had a boyish face and the sweetest voice I’d ever heard. Another had a faded accent that chopped up her sentences. I don’t care if you’re beautiful, but have a uniquely beautiful voice.

One of my friends says I shouldn’t be on the lookout for other artists; I’m a well-meaning hot mess of hyper-sensitive, creative, narcissistic neuroses. People with creative drives tend to be like that, blatantly or subtly, and apparently two of those together won’t usually result in a successful relationship. But I have a thing for people who make music and/or pretty pictures. It would be nice to hang out on Saturdays and you’ll paint while I write. This will only work, though, if you’re good and/or excessively passionate with your craft. And if that’s the case, odds are I will start calling you a genius about three weeks in and laude you with so much praise that your productivity and also arrogance will triple.

On Saturday nights we’ll go to a flashy place and/or chill place but either way we have to meet up with our friends because I want us to be one of those cool couples that roll through to parties and are well-dressed. I won’t mind if you’re way more stylish than me because I’m a slob and I secretly love it when my girlfriends brilliantly compensate for my frazzled efforts at looking pulled together. If you are my dream girl then you are not one of those lesbians who only go to lesbian things and live and breathe lesbian life. We’ve all been through that phase but the advantage of being girlfriends is that we can hang out with the rest of dominant culture now because there’s no risk of missing out on meeting the new lesbian who might be The One.

Let’s sometimes do drugs and make out in my room where I have Christmas lights above the bed. Or (sometimes) get wasted in Brooklyn and then stagger home holding hands. Let’s be sloppy because being sloppy when you’re not lonely is essentially a return to childhood and I want to do that with you. Let’s have dinners at West Village restaurants that have candles on the tables and dark red walls. Let’s lay on the couch until we smell bad. Let’s go to cultural events together because whatever the hell it means, it sounds well-rounded.

Please be comfortable with oversharing, because I do it. Please be reliable with your texting, but don’t be mad when I forget to check my phone for days at a time. If you show up when you say you will, make fun of me with a sarcasm that reveals how well you know me, and are the kind of person who is kind to waitresses when they drop the plates, you might have my heart. The idea here is that to be with me you have to be a patient person who sort of enjoys chaos. I can assure you that you will be rewarded handsomely for your chillness. I’m going to come home with flowers in hand often. Prepare to be bragged about to everyone we meet and in everything I write. Expect to be excessively tended to if god forbid you ever have a fever.

I have a vast but intense collection of overlapping groups of friends. You will be rigorously integrated. The uniting thing about all of them is that they like to be drunk in noisy places and/or have analytical discussions in quiet rooms. If you’re my dream girl, you’re into romanticizing city life and you’re into communal philosophizing. Your friends are invited too. More than anything I want us to all hang out like a bunch of bros. Like when my roommate comes home early to us hooking up on the couch and we just put our shirts back on like nothing happened and smoke a joint with him; once that happened with a girl and when I saw her being stoned and laughing with my buddy while we devoured empanadas, that’s when I knew I wanted her to be my girlfriend.

Please have a high threshold of tolerance for rambling, because I do it. Have a dynamic sense of humor, meaning you think all kinds of jokes are funny except for violent or humiliating ones. See the Fergie tribute video from Youtube that my sister posted on my wall and understand the unexplainable hilarity of it. Please think my little sister is hilarious.

Please have a mysterious weird energy of darkness that I can constantly mull over, please love sex, please don’t be mad when I flirt with other people because I can’t help it and I don’t mean it.

Bonus points if you’re a Cancer-Leo because apparently those are the most compatible with my Capricorn-Aquarius since they’re “opposites on the wheel.” More bonus points if you can tell that this has been written at a time in my young adulthood when I am finally – but barely – exploring the intersection of what I want and what I might really need. No one thinks patient people are sexy when they’re nineteen but now I am twenty-two. Also, even more bonus points if you can tell that I am willing to compromise these stipulations if you and I have chemistry, right? All anyone needs really is some chemistry.

Regards,
Your Dream Girl TC mark

image – Weird Science

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    • A.

      sign me up

    • SykOgUrL

      Beautiful and eloquent are the only clumsy words I am able to find at the moment;  I either need more coffee, or you have left me in a rare state of speechlessness.  Perhaps both.

      • M.J. Corey

        Incredible comment – thank you ! 

        • SykOgUrL

          I’ll be keeping track of your work from here on out.  As one who is just setting out on the creative path of rhetoric that you’re already travelling upon, I would most certainly love to get (and keep) in touch with someone such as yourself for feedback and fellowship.

    • jmirie

      Why is this so hard to find?

    • Katzzz712

      call me

    • Marie

      Marry me? I’m not a Cancer-Leo but I have a French accent, would that help?

      • M.J. Corey

        Um yes, French accents help – they have always helped. The track record I have for falling for French girls is outrageous 

        • Marie

           (Insert subtle French accent here): How amazing, the track record I have for falling for American girls is also outrageous. Sigh.

    • Anonymous

      ” If you are my dream girl then you are not one of those lesbians who
      only go to lesbian things and live and breathe lesbian life.”

      a million times YES.

      also, lolz at the URL for this post saying “dream-gurl” instead of “girl”

      • M.J. Corey

        Drives me crazy!

    • Renee

      These lines:  “Let’s sometimes do drugs and make out in my room where I have Christmas
      lights above the bed. Or (sometimes) get wasted in Brooklyn and then
      stagger home holding hands.” I’m SO in! This is an outstanding piece. :) 

    • Lily

      <— Cancer that loves Aquarians, compassion, art, laughing, living imperfectly, all of it. Kinda bad at texting back though. If you are, then I can be, yes?

    • Wei Yeow

      Shouldn’t it be regards, Guy, or am I missing something here?

      • Guest

        yr definitely missing something :)

      • Annie

        Skimmed over the whole lesbian paragraph, did we?

    • ro

      perfect, for a man and woman

      • Anna

        This bitch

    • http://www.facebook.com/jessi.smith1 Jessi Smith

      While I was reading this, I was thinking “Yup, this is my dream girl” and then I got to the end where you gave bonus points for being a Cancer-Leo (My birthday is July 2oth) and I actually said “whoa” out loud. Call me. Let’s pick out pet names immediately.

      But seriously. I now have an official writer crush on you. This was lovely.

    • mischline

      love it!

    • http://twitter.com/JonTargaryen Carly Fowler

      If only I could  drink without being hospitalized. I’d sign myself right up!

    • Hry

      “I’m a well-meaning hot mess of hyper-sensitive, creative, narcissistic neuroses. People with creative drives tend to be like that”

      Modest, too.

    • Mila Jaroniec

      This is something I wanted to write but couldn’t. You articulated all of these feelings so well…and made me acknowledge I have feelings. Damn you. Great piece <3 

    • aname

      i’d say your my dream girl

    • Annie

      “Please be comfortable with oversharing, because I do it.”

      Not enough people in the world like us. True intimacy is still wanting to be with someone after a TMI moment. Indeed, wanting it even more, because you just can’t get enough of getting to know them and all their beautiful imperfections.

    • Tyler

      It’s too bad you’re not into fellas, because I kind of thought my idea of a fairy-tale romance was actually pretty original until just now…

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    • Paige

      I think we’re looking for the same girl.

    • http://www.nicholeexplainsitall.com EarthToNichole

      “The idea here is that to be with me you have to be a patient person who sort of enjoys chaos.” Could have sworn you were a Libra after reading this.

    • Yasmini

      zedic astrology?

    • http://twitter.com/vickstahs Vicky Nguyen

      this was adorable :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/hazard333 Elly

      Hahah, I’d say I’d be it, but I’m a Pisces-Taurus…there might be too much blubbering insanity, never too much weirdness though.

    • http://twitter.com/knardizzi Kat Nardizzi

      This is adorable! I am definitely close to your dream girl, if not exactly it. This makes me want to write a letter to my dream man! I think I just might…

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