The Person’s Guide To Dating Another Person

You want to date a person — that’s great. But how can you know what that person wants? What should you be doing to woo them? Look no further. I’m about to tell you!

What the person you would like to date wants:

1. WATER

If your love interest is not properly hydrated, they’ll be too busy dying to enjoy a fulfilling romantic relationship!

2. SHELTER

Exposure to the elements is not good for your skin, can result in a cranky demeanor, or, possibly, death! Bug bites, skunks, and stray cats can get in the way of your romantic evening. It’s best to ensure that you have basic shelter to return to, even if you plan to step outside for a picnic or sex on the beach. There comes a time when basic shelter is what your love interest wants.

3. FOOD

Everyone eats! And if they don’t, they’ll starve and die. So make sure to eat and make sure the person you want to date is also eating at some point during the day.

4. PRIVACY WHILE HAVING A BOWEL MOVEMENT

Everybody poops but nobody wants company.

5. COMPANY WHEN NOT HAVING A BOWEL MOVEMENT

Everyone goes through life feeling the crushing pain of incurable loneliness. When your love interest is not having a bowel movement (and make sure to ask!) offer to be in their presence and do activities together. Those activities depend on both of your personalities, interests, and moods, but should be enjoyable (or at least tolerable) to both.

6. SLEEP

Your partner probably wants to sleep at least six hours out of every twenty-four hours.

7. BASIC HYGIENE

Brush your teeth to attract a mate.

8. FUN

You can’t have fun if you can’t open that can of beans. If you want to date a person, you need basic life skills and common sense. You also need to have fun—but you can only do that if you have the beans.

9. NO VIOLENCE

Don’t be violent (emotionally, physically, or verbally). If you are angry, it is ok to express that anger, but don’t be violent. Your partner won’t like that. And stay away from violent partners. Being with someone is complicated. Sometimes you will feel good and sometimes you will feel bad. But you should never feel like you are in danger.

10. LISTENING & SHARING

Communicate with your love interest by sharing thoughts and experiences and asking about your person’s thoughts and experiences. Pursue a romantic relationship with a person you like to do that with and who likes to do that with you.

In short, provide your love interest with all these things and find someone who provides them to you. And then you will be in a relationship and that’s what you wanted, because you are reading this guide to dating people. Congratulations! TC mark

featured image – Flickr / tmarsee530

Related

More From Thought Catalog