We all have that one memory of our past that seems to keep the scars permanent. It is probably because of the way they promised you an eternity of love but leaving you with the ruins of your relationship instead. Or perhaps it is the way you miss the way they acted on your first date-all those walk you home, late night calls and effort-filled gifts.
There is nothing wrong about loving and expecting to be loved in return.
But sadly, under whatever reason they try to use just to bail off, it simply didn’t work between the two of you. That feeling sucks that it made you cry every night hoping you never met them. You feel your inner soul throwing questions at you asking what could’ve been lacking in you. You find it so hard to get up in the morning and it feels like the world is finally asking you to move out.
I feel you. You wished for a gentleman but ended up falling in love with the wrong ones. You had your ex who left your heart broken to an almost dying version of you and you had short- time flings that almost convinced you that love is real until the day they just stopped talking to you. You had that almost-turned-into-relationship kind of love but ended up ruining it because you were emotionally broken and confused of what you really want in life. You’ve been into deep boy-girl friendships that you thought could end up into something which turned out to be the epic failure of loving someone who only sees you as a friend. And I know it feels horrible and suddenly you look at your reflection in the mirror and start wondering, “Where exactly did I go wrong?” “Am I really that ugly?” “Why am I always the one who has to end up hurting?”.
You don’t have to be hurt. You don’t have to be the one who is always broken.
Honey, before trying to give your heart to somebody new, let it heal first. Let it accept all the pain, the reality that some people are no longer coming back for you. Learn to forgive the people who tried to hurt you but most importantly, forgive yourself. You have abused your heart. You gave every piece away even if it has not yet fully recovered from the past. And no matter how cliche it is to say, but let time heal the scars left by your past. Stop rushing to find the man of your dreams and prepare yourself.
Prepare your heart so when the day comes that he arrives right in front of your door, you’ll be able to give yourself wholly like you never have before.
Stop acting like there is no longer a man for you because there is! You just have to let the storm settle so that when the right time comes, you can finally say that there is a reason why it never worked with the old ones. Life is a bus ride and so as the search for love but you don’t have to stop at every station to try out every product.
Get on your feet. Start walking and think about yourself and your future life.
Appreciate the little things you have and enjoy the view! Do something that will make you a better person. Who knows? By the end of the trail, when your heart is finally complete again and when your scars have finally healed and you live a good life, someone else would like to grab your hand and walk the journey with you. That classic idea of waiting is a tale as old as time but trust me and trust God, it works in every good and possible way.