I know it sucks. I know it feels like the worst pain you have ever experienced in your life and nothing will ever be good again. I know your trying to cover up the pain your feeling with Band-Aids like drugs, alcohol and meaningless sex. I wish so badly you weren’t because those things are not going to make you feel any better. It is like putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg: it just doesn’t work.
I know you wont believe me when I tell you that the pain will get better with time. I know it feels unbearable right now. I know there are days when you cant even get out of bed because the constant reminders about your lost love are too much to handle.
Even opening the fridge reminds you of your heartbreak because you see his favourite drink staring back at you. Something as simple as going to the store reminds you of him because you see the type of socks he used to leave in your bed. Everything reminds you of him because you guys did everything together. But like I said, it does get better I promise.
Soon your good days will outweigh your bad and soon he will just be another memory. Soon he’ll simply be another Ben or Kyle or Jordan or Chris: Instead of the love of your life. When you come to that realization it’s going to suck I know it will. But just know that it’ll suck a little less and you’ll find another love of your life soon.
It won’t be the same as your first love, because first loves are always different. First loves are exciting and scary and new. It’s a feeling of euphoria you haven’t experienced with anyone before. The next love you have will be different for sure, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Different is good because it means that maybe this one will be better. Your first love ended because it wasn’t meant to be. Your second love might end too because maybe that wasn’t meant to be either. But the final love won’t end and that’s the only thing that matters. That’s how you know you’ve found the love of your life. Darling, your final love will happen when you least expect it.
I know you don’t believe me but there are some good things that can come with break ups. Breakups force you to fix the things that made the relationship end in the first place. Breakups make you improve yourself so you will never make the same mistake in another relationship again. Breakups make you a better person in the end, a stronger person. It’ll also make the next breakup a little easier, because your heart will learn to adapt to the pain.
I also want to remind you that it isn’t your entire fault. You made some mistakes yes but he did too. I know you think he was perfect because you were blinded by his compliments and the fact that someone loved you when you hated yourself. The way he yelled at you and made you feel small was not okay. The words he used that left you crying at my doorstep were not okay. I hate him for making you feel so small and insignificant in those moments. I hate him for building you up and then tearing you down all over again.
The most important thing I want you to remember though is he is not the only one for you. I know he was your world, first loves are always all consuming. However I think you are lucky he left you, because now you have the chance to create a new world. A world where you are in the centre and your needs are the most important thing, not his: A world where you love yourself, regardless if he loves you.
This world will take a long time to develop, and it won’t be easy. However it will be worth it. Then when you least expect it someone new will come into your world, someone whom you love even more than you loved him. Someone who builds you up higher then you ever could’ve imagined. Someone who will never tear you down.