1. I got my degree because I want to inspire you with the same stuff I’m really passionate about. I’m not here to make your life miserable.
I did not become a high school English teacher in order to slowly and meticulously torture you. In fact, I received my degree with the hopes of inspiring at least some of you to actually enjoy reading awesome classic works of literature… or anything other than a tweet!
2. I don’t get a summer vacation like you do.
I actually spend my summer ‘vacation’ reading books, preparing lesson plans, attending conferences and trainings, and still receiving complaints from your parents. The only difference is that I can enjoy some weeknight adult beverages and I don’t have to sift through your copied homework on a nightly basis.
3. As much as I grow to love some students, I do not want to be your friend outside of school.
It’s simply weird and we have nothing in common. Stop requesting to follow me on social media.
4. I totally know when you are texting in class, whether you are stooping down to look under your desk or using your book as a decoy.
You are not nearly as sneaky as you think you are, especially when you continue to nervously glance at me in the process.
5. I know your reading and vocabulary levels, thus, I become suspicious when you begin using formal language and collegiate terms in your essays (you’re really not as sneaky as you think you are.)
If you fail to cite or properly use quotations, you are plagiarising. Plagiarism is a serious offense- ask any college student.
6. For every single compliment or even remotely nice statement I receive from one of you, I receive about twenty criticisms or insults.
I work extremely hard to be the best educator I can be, and it is really hard to be unappreciated. I do apologize for seeming irritable and frustrated at times. The truth is that I care about all of you and I want all of you to benefit from my courses.