Dating Apps: This Is How You’re Doing It Wrong

Luke Porter

If, like me you use dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble, I can imagine like me, you have had your fair share of moments where you lose hope for our generation. Now, I can only write from my experiences, a hetero lady seeking a guy. So I can’t speak to guy’s experiences when seeking a lady.

Yesterday, (for the one hundredth time it feels), a match opened our chat thread by asking if I wanted to give him kiss, cuddles and oral. Now, call me old-fashioned but I hardly feel this is the way to open a conversation with a stranger, who will then hold this against you as their first impression.  I usually ignore them and don’t reply, but this time I thought I would. My reply was something along the lines of ”lord, at least ask a girl out first’. His reply, ” it says I am newly single in my profile, so fuck off and stop wasting my time”.

Oh, I am sorry Mr Bumble. Apologies for having the audacity for not dropping to my knees, since you did throw in kiss and cuddles first. I would have typed some snarky come back, but this ‘gentleman’ promptly blocked me. Not mentioning the safety issues with meeting up with people purely for sex that these guys completely forget. So, the question begs; are we forgetting that there are actual humans behind these endless profiles?

In a world where we can order anything from our fingertips in a matter of seconds, a place where we would rather have our nose in our phone than smile (god forbid) at people on the bus, we are in a generation where undoubtedly the ‘dating norms’ have changed to that of our parents. Are people just trying to order hook ups the same way I order my Just Eat?

I do believe there is a deficit in respect which enables people to act such as the above, when behind a keyboard. To all these guys who from the safety of their screens open conversations with these kinds of remarks; please stop. Stop because I know you would never be so shameless in real life, so don’t let the fact you’re behind a screen lead you believe manners aren’t necessary.  Never in my years has a guy approached me ”cute face, it would look better with my cum on it.” So why on earth is this behavior deemed acceptable in our virtual world.

What all of this boils down to is what amount of respect that guy deems you deserve; which in itself is pretty offensive. Fuck buddy, cool girl to hang out with, or girlfriend material are just kinder way of saying ‘no respect, some respect, respected.’ Whatever it is you are looking for, however you are meeting people, respect and manners literally cost nothing.

Tinder, Bumble and the likes make meeting people for our generation a lot easier. Admittedly we are all focused on our professions and ambitions, brunches and speakeasy’s , hot yoga and the new food place that’s just so instagramable. So to be able to meet 10 times the amount of guy whilst I am waiting for my friends is great. But I am at the point where I don’t think I have the energy or eye rolls anymore. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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