As so eloquently put by rapper Meek Mill, it goes a little something like this:
“THERE’S LEVELS TO THIS SHIT.” -MEEK MILL
Levels in love, levels in career, and even levels of lonely. I think many of us are often times our own worse enemies. We are the ones who choose our actions, so why can’t we just chose the right path to prevent a snowball situation? I’m no credible doctor or psychiatrist, but it seems like wallowing in our own pain often a common reaction amongst us.
For whatever reason, when people are lonely they tend to push others away. Logically, this seems stupid because in order to not be lonely you need to be around people, duh – or so I thought.
Level 1: You Can’t Be Alone. Ever.
I know people like this. They literally could continue to hang out with people and never tire. I find it fascinating and bizarre simultaneously. You could call this person a social butterfly, absolutely, and maybe they never have to go home to recharge. PROPS. Sometimes people like this though aren’t going out constantly for their own enjoyment, but perhaps they can’t bear to be alone by themselves.
Level 2: Anybody Out There?
This is when you can find yourself alone, mundane tasks don’t always require a buddy, and you’re okay most of the time. Come nightfall, you may find yourself lonely, wanting someone to watch Hulu with, maybe pop some popcorn, I don’t know. Just lonely. This becomes unhealthy when you find basically anyone suitable and you’re essentially using them for their companionship.
When you’re on this level, a pet could help, but often times when people are lonely like this, they reach for whoever they can grab and it’s probably not someone they even deserve. It’s just someone to fill a void in life. This scenario doesn’t usually end well and probably ends up hurting you more in the long run.
Level 3: Good Vibes
You’re more in tune with yourself. You’re working out, you feel good, the job front is doing okay, things are getting better, and you find yourself more content. You may not have all your ducks in a row (who does?) but you can come home at night, put on Hulu, pop some popcorn yourself, and feel… good.
Sure, you want someone to love because most people do, but you’re not going to jump off the nearest balcony because a Tinder match didn’t message you back. You’re cool. You’re chilling. This is when you are becoming your best you and will attract what you are deserving of.
These levels can fluctuate and be influenced by a number of different life events, but we always hear that we have to be “at one with ourselves.” What does that even mean? Most of us aren’t going to book an Eat, Pray, Love scenario to find our inner peace. Get real. However, we can be more mindful of toxicity around town and in your head.
1. Ego is not your amigo. Your ego is the negative comments that bark at you and tell you and convince you that you’re not good enough or that you’re the best of all time. Tell it to shut up. When I look in the mirror in the morning and my ego’s telling me I look like a sideshow freak, I say “pipe down” and negative thoughts settle down. It’s not narcissistic, it’s protecting yourself. Know what thoughts are coming from the ego and not your inner conscious.
2. Do whatever you want. Literally, do whatever you want (that’s positive and productive, obviously.) You want to go to the beach, go to the beach! When you put yourself first, you’re happier. So many amazing things come from people taking their passion into action. Do what you love.
3. Be positive. SO MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE. I yelled that because it’s true. You will have to extract negative people in your life and must force yourself to change your way of thinking. There are positive and negatives to everything, doesn’t mean you only have to talk about the negative.
Working on this takes time, I’ve been doing these things consciously for over a year and a half, not really noticing the last 8 or so months. My brain has just kind of shifted into a different space. I’m more positive overall and I know when my egos taking over control and I’m being some kind of way. I didn’t necessarily think it would spill over into the “lonely” sector, but it most definitely has.
I’m strong and I just don’t care about most things that would have upset me before. This is a plus. When you find yourself being so strong that nothing can shake you, it’s pretty damn cool and you can feel like you can take on anything. And when your ego is telling you that you’re better than anyone who has ever lived EVER, well, then you’ll know when to tone it down. It’s all about the balance baby.