I had never heard of the app Grindr before coming out. My friend raved about it. He said Grindr was so convenient that he had hooked up with a 30 year old within the first week of downloading it. Soon, we both ended up dating someone else through the app the summer before starting college.
I didn’t know how to look for gay gays in college. This app was all I knew, and it was quite addicting. It was just like checking Facebook, a matter of habit until I finally found someone I liked. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thanks to Grindr, I found someone I loved.
It was somewhat of an embarrassment, but now we have Tinder, so straight people understand.
After my longwinded relationship ended, I still didn’t know how to find new guys within such a small gay community. I resorted back to habit. Grindr for old time’s sake and Tinder to catch up with the latest trend.
It just felt gross. I knew the guys that just showed dick pics didn’t have a brain, but I still couldn’t find anyone to carry on a meaningful conversation or to even find anyone I was attracted to. Which brings me back to why I am deleting all my dating apps.
Lately I’ve been feeling more confident and empowered since my relationship ended. I’m starting to apply to internships and jobs before I graduate in the spring. I’m bro-ing out, lifting weights and swimming almost every day. I’m living in a studio where I have had time to reflect and be my whole self, dancing naked if I feel so inclined.
I’m getting a little off track, but what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to look for a boy right now. I’m not trying to find my soulmate, and I don’t want to feel let down when I’m looking for someone at a bar or on an app. That time could be much better spent with the good friends I have or the new friends I make, and holding on to the moments I will remember before graduating.
Just last week a girl randomly starting talking to me as I was walking across campus. We ended up studying together, and the following weekend we watched a drag show and proceeded to dance in her living room, just the two of us. These are the moments I don’t want to pass up. As silly as it sounds, deleting my dating apps may be the best thing for me right now.