It’s okay to mourn someone still alive, but I hope you never have to.
I hope you never have to mourn the loss of a parent, especially while they are still alive. I hope that you never have to go through the trauma leading up to the decision to cut ties with them. I hope you never have to experience the dismay of receiving anything but love from those tasked with raising you. I hope that in the darkness of the storm you find some light. I hope these words one day will never need to be typed.
I hope you find the love you’ve been lacking.
I hope that you realize you deserve more than the abuse, the neglect, the fear. I hope that you realize it doesn’t happen overnight; the decision to sever all ties is tough. Maybe you’ll just explain your feelings: You’re done with the BS and you never want to hear from them, and maybe they’ll listen. Or maybe you’ll go the abrupt, mysterious route: Blocking them, moving out of town, changing your phone number. Or maybe you realize there’s no right way to sever ties with your parent, because there’s no right way to be toxic. No right way to project hatred and abuse upon your child. Your response can’t be incorrect when the actions against you were wrong.
All the things you’ve accomplished are that much better because you did it on your own.
I hope you find clarity in the truth that you are better than they ever led you to believe. I hope you realize the strength this takes. Not only to leave them, but to go on throughout life, witnessing parental support and bonding that you never received. I hope you realize it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to mourn the loss of them because you have lost them. I hope you recognize you’re worthy of love, worthy of the type of love you may never have experienced. I hope you choose to not tolerate toxicity anymore in your life, and darling, I hope you realize this all has made you the amazing, beautiful person you are today. It is not merely what happens to you in this world that decides your future, it is your response.