1. You’re on your phone the whole time.
Seriously, turn your phone on silent. Put it away. Only check it for emergencies and/or if your date has gone to the bathroom. This is just common courtesy on a date. Respect the person who’s with you and don’t get distracted by screens. You spend your whole life on your phone, on Facebook, scrolling the internet. You can go the 2 hours or so without needing all those updates. Trust me.
2. You’re late.
Do you even respect your date? If you can’t find parking, misjudged your commute, whatever the legitimate case was – that’s one thing. But if you’re late because you just had to get 10 more minutes in at the gym or you just had to finish an episode of your favorite TV show you should probably just be banned from dating. At least until you get your shit together.
3. You dressed like shit.
If you show up looking like you rolled out of bed and didn’t put in any effort how do you expect your date to show any genuine interest in you? Iron your clothes. Wear something nice. It doesn’t have to be a suit or a fancy dress but at least look like you showered and took the time to prepare to see this person.
4. All you talk about is yourself.
If you spend the entire date talking about yourself and how awesome you are, you’re a terrible date. And, also, arrogant. While it’s great to talk about your life and what makes it great don’t forget to ask the other person questions. A date should be a natural steady flow of back and forth conversation. Not just some asshat spending the whole time talking about themselves.
5. You talk about your exes too in-depth.
If the other person inquires about your relationship history then sure, give them a brief version of events. But if you spend a long time discussing how great your ex was – or the opposite – what a shitty person they were then you’re only going to look A. bitter and B. not over it.
6. You’re rude to the wait staff.
If you’re a jerk to the server that’s pretty reflective on what you’re like as a person. No one likes bad service but if you’re going out of your way to ream them out for making mistakes you’re probably not going to get a second date. Just saying.
7. You don’t have the money to cover your half of the bill.
Call me old-fashioned but I still believe in a dude paying for the first date. Obviously, if the other person wants to pay their half that’s cool too. But! If you go out on the date and you don’t have the cash to cover your half it kind of seems like you just went out for the free food/drinks. Even if the other person pays and never even makes a gesture you should split the check, you should still have enough to cover your half.
8. You expect to get laid just for going on the date.
If you expect spending time with someone = guaranteed bone session you’re not only a bad date but an asshole. Walk the person to their car, to their doorstep or whatever but don’t get pissed or disappointed if the date doesn’t go any further. Enjoy the night for what it was.
9. You’re negative about everything.
No one likes hearing someone complain about everything – especially on a date. If your thing is to constantly point out the bad or talk about what’s wrong with the world and your life I’m sorry but I just don’t think you’re very good date material. Being around someone who’s critical and judgmental just sucks.
10. You’re too thirsty.
If you haven’t been laid in a long time or in a relationship and you just really, really miss being next to someone that desperation is going to be really obvious to your date. No one likes desperation.