Stop Building With People Who Are Not Part Of Your Destiny

For years I wasted myself dealing with people who were not part of my destiny. I spent my time, energy and resources on people and experiences that were not in alignment with the person I wanted to be. I constantly entertained experiences and conversations with people that were more story than action. These individuals were always down on their luck and only enjoyed sharing a bunch of sally sob stories that never involved anything except a laundry list of gripes and complaints about the same ole things. They never wanted to learn the language of change. It was like every time I saw them, they were still in the same place I left them, going nowhere fast! After a while this gets old. You come into your worth and realize, you deserve more.

After coming to this realization, I knew I had to do a clearing and remove these dead-end people from out my circle. However, something funny happened on the way to my future. After doing an external cleanse and ridding myself of all the emotional vampires, I realized that I had no circle left. Everyone that I dealt with was someone that I could not keep. After a careful and exhaustive self-analysis, I realized most of the people that I made alliances with were often met when I was in a bad place emotionally. These people were reflections of my lower self, the part of me that was wounded, low-vibrational and damaged. When I met these people, I was either reckless, indifferent or dangerously hurt which consequently impaired my judgment. I realize that I oftentimes built relationships with people based on my desperation and not my destination.

Knowing this I refuse to build with anyone that is not part of my destiny. I refuse to forge bonds based on similar wounds. In the past doing this has left me exhausted, jaded and unmotivated to build my empire. I see women and men do this all the time. They give their best love, their best effort, their best sacrifice to someone who is not part of their destiny and then when it does not pan out as they thought it would, they are left feeling spent, drained and unmotivated to invest in the person that would have been a part of their destiny. In fact, they undermine their own destiny as a result of these dead-end relationships. In their hurt and disillusionment with love, they unconsciously try to reclaim what they feel they lost by entering into numerous trysts and situationships with other damaged individuals while foregoing good relationships that could have been the end of their search and the beginning of their destiny. They derail their happiness and prolong their agony continuing the cycle of pain by dealing with those not part of their destiny.

Fact is not everyone deserves an invitation to your destination. Your destiny deserves people in it who know the meaning of initiative and reciprocity. You cannot continue to build with losers and expect to be a winner. A true gardener of success knows one must always prune the tree in order to make room for fruit. You can’t hold on to dead leaves and expect your tree to keep growing good for you. Your destiny demands you build with those who continue to earn the right to you through consistent demonstration of loyalty and truth. Stop building with just anyone in an effort to be less alone and get more empty support. It’s not how many friends you have that counts, it’s how many friends that actually demonstrate commitment and longevity that matter the most.

There will be many people that you meet on the road to your destiny. Some will be keepers and others mere lessons. Your wounds will continue to tempt you to seek out relationships with damaged individuals. But you are more than just war stories. You are the portrait of beautiful survival and the definition of what it means to thrive. So choose those who honor the new you. Build with those who add fruit to your future and with those as devoted to your destiny as you are. Make sure their presence adds to your purpose because you, my friend deserve your destiny and it is a beautiful destiny once you make the decision to honor it by shedding dead weight and building with those as committed to you as you are.

About the author
A fun-loving creative soul who enjoys various forms of expression. Follow Luis on Instagram or read more articles from Luis on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related