I Am Just A Girl Who Wants To Be Loved

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I am a dog.

I am a dog who has been kicked by her person and keeps coming back.

My person does nothing to keep me around, but I long to be loved. And so I keep returning. Even when I know I’m unwanted.

For a moment he will act apologetic. He will say he is sorry for treating me this way – ignoring me, not respecting me – and I take his apology genuinely because I think he means it this time.

But then he goes and kicks me again.

And I’m left feeling hurt: What did I do wrong this time? What can I do better? What do I need to do to make him love me?

I am pathetic. But I know no other home. Negative attention seems better than no attention. So I stay.

He only wants me around when he seeks comfort. Dogs are good for comfort.

I am a cat.

I am a cat who has been left outside by her person and hangs around still.

My person shut me out one day, but I have needs. And so I stay near. Hoping he will return to open the door one day.

For a moment he will hover near the door. He has come back before – some stays are longer than others – and so I hold out because I think this time might be it.

But then he returns and he shuts me out again.

And I’m left feeling unwanted: Why am I so undesirable? Why won’t he love me? Why am I not good enough?

I am forlorn. But I do not know where else to go. Occasional attention seems better than no attention. So I stay.

He only wants me around when he feels lonely. Cats are good for presence.

I am a girl.

I am a girl who has been rejected by the same boy over and over and cannot move on.

He clearly does not want to be with me, but I am forceful. And so I keep vying for his affection. Even though I know anything I do will never be enough.

For a moment he seems interested. He will say we should hang out – maybe this weekend even – and I agree because I think it’s what he truly wants.

But then he rejects me again.

And I’m left feeling confused: How do I move on? How do I stop wanting him? How do I forget about everything we’ve shared?

I am pitiful. But I don’t know what else to do. Dismissal seems better than no attention. So I stay.

He only wants me around when he needs someone to talk to. Girls are good for talking.  

But I am just a girl.

And I can’t do this anymore. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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