Questionable Female Role Models (Fictional)

Margot Tenenbaum

The Royal Tenenbaums
The Royal Tenenbaums

When I’ve been dumped and feel the urge to channel this kind of thing, I have to remind myself that heavy eyeliner makes me look 15, I can’t afford a good fur coat, and it took me a long time to quit smoking.

Laura Palmer

Twin Peaks
Twin Peaks

Before things turn sour, she really can pull off a casual blow habit and a nice cardigan (no pun intended…)

Chloë Sevigny in The Last Days of Disco

The Last Days of Disco
The Last Days of Disco

Like the best poor female role models (and most of Whit Stillman’s leading ladies), Chloë doesn’t do a whole lot but she sure looks great doing it! “You mean it’s a complete cliché? All women recent college graduates drink vodka tonics, or something like that?” Oh, Chloë. I guess she deserves a little credit for that publishing job. I’ll take my vodka tonic now.

Janeane Garofalo in Reality Bites

Reality Bites
Reality Bites

She was pretty kick-ass, but it’s still not a great reason to romanticize a retail position at the Gap.

Daria

Daria
Daria

My first memory of using a cartoon’s behavior to justify my own involves stepping to the side when a soccer ball was kicked at me in 7th grade and rolling my eyes. Since then, I have also thought about Daria when permitting myself to eat pizza whenever I felt like it, largely avoiding group activities, reading during time allocated for “socializing”, and occasionally standing up for myself in a particularly incredulous tone to unsuspecting frat boys, condescending adults, or general douchebags. I think Daria is kind of a good role model, but she is not a very practical one.

Lorelai Gimore

Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls

She sure makes single parenting look like fun. None of the diaper changing, sleepless nights type stuff. It would just be like having a younger friend to hang around with. And oh, the banter!

Beatrix Kiddo/Black Mamba/”The Bride”

Kill Bill
Kill Bill

Vindictive sexy assassin/bad ass bitch. Not a viable role model, though: cognitive dissonance re: gun control comes to mind. Once, I recited a scene from Kill Bill 2 to my ex-boyfriend in bed. I even did the different voices: “You want to come to the wedding?” ”Only if I can sit on the bride’s side.” (David Carradine slow, pseudo-dubbed quality) “You’ll find it a bit lonely on my side” “Your side… always was… a bit lonely.” Hey, what am I talking about? With wiles like these, who needs role models? TC mark

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