5 Texts I Wish I’d Never Sent

On June 4, 2002, Avril Lavigne, the soon-to-be epitome of all things awesome and angsty, released the album Let Go. It was credited as one of the top pop albums of 2002, which leads me to believe a lot of girls, like myself, heard it and adopted various lyrics to use as life mantras throughout middle school, high school, and yes, ok, college. In the song, “Things I’ll Never Say”, Avril bemoans her lack of risk taking, lamenting:

I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say.

After hearing the song, I, like many of my socially awkward “Avril-sings-my-soul” believing peers, felt that I should learn from Avril, and confess my internal emotional quandaries to the 6th grade boy who made my heart stop when he passed me in the cafeteria. Unfortunately, the sentiments were not returned (I did, after all, have two lazy eyes) and I sat in my bed that night, sobbing and listening to Michelle Branch’s “Are You Happy Now?”

Sadly, as the years wore on, I forgot that vital life lesson. Upon entering college, I decided against wishing my life away on the things I’ll never say – and by that I mean, braced with liquid courage or deluded self confidence, I would, on occasion, send incredibly straightforward texts that really should never have been sent. As it transpired, it became clear that there’s a reason Avril implied that these were things that should never be said. There’s no way of taking back these texts, but perhaps they will provide a cautionary tale to all of you who wear your heart on your digital sleeve.

_____

1. “My bed was more fun with you in it ;)”

I sent this at the beginning of freshman year to a frat guy who’d spent the night with me. We’d only made out, but I’d had fun and I sent this text the next day. Not only did he not respond, but he showed it to all of his fraternity brothers, which obviously implicated that we’d done a lot more than kiss. In retrospect it was the fault of the winky face, because it made it that much more of a promiscuous text. We never hooked up again.

2. “Nice pink shirt! Haha.”

I sent this upon seeing the guy I was hooking up with. He was on the bottom floor of union, I was on the top. I (mistakenly) thought it would be cute to let him know I could see him. Unfortunately, it came off as incredibly creepy.

3. “Your new girlfriend is so pretty! You guys are really cute together”

I sent this after seeing an old one-time hook up at a party. This was just wrong in so many ways. First, because it was unnecessary to comment in the first place. Second, because as it turned out, this was not his new girlfriend and the response was, “What the hell are you talking about?” And third, because it made me look hella creepy – I was at a party, clearly I should have been socializing with friends, playing beer pong, or downing punch, and not pretending I was the new Perez Hilton of Davidson College.

4. I’d asked a guy if he’d like to hang out during the week and he replied that he had a big econ paper and he’d be busy. I then (stupidly!) replied, “How about next week?” to which he replied, “I’m going to be busy for a really long time.”

Worst. Rejection. Ever. (If you have worse stories of text rejection, comment here because I’d love to know that there’s worse out there.) Note: once someone gives you an excuse, like, they’re busy, and doesn’t offer a rain check, TAKE A FREAKING HINT. I wish I had.

5. “Why is it that you’re the only person I can think about before I fall asleep?”

Sent to someone who had demonstrated a clear disinterest in me. This was my drunken attempt to relay my deepest emotions. Unfortunately it came off as articulate, and thus sober – so I couldn’t blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. The response was almost as bad as the text itself:  “Dunno.” Oh. God. The. Shame.

_____

So, there you have it folks. 5 texts that will forever sit, laughing at me, in the archives of my phone’s ‘sent’ box (though sometimes, I delete awful texts I’ve sent and pretend I never sent them. If they’re not there, then they never were, right?). Yeah, unfortunately denial of that sort doesn’t really work too well, especially when your text has been passed around a brotherhood and repeated back to you verbatim. Thanks a lot, Avril. TC mark

Image via Jorge Quinteros

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  • xuene

    This is golden.

  • Katt

    This was legitimately hilarious

  • Gazeclear

    this is so awesome.
    the no reply text is the worst. especially when you think you're just being witty and cute, and they think you are a desperate loser.
    it happens to all of us.

  • Amissa

    thanks for reminding me of Michelle Branch's best song ever. It is currently playing in the back ground

    • newbornrodeo

      “All You Wanted” is much better

  • Katie

    This article is perfect haha. I recently just suffered from liquid courage and “wearing my heart on my digital sleeve.” Apparently when I'm wasted I turn into a modern day Shakespeare and can write articulate novels of a text professing my love for someone who made it quite clear that it wasn't mutual afterwards. #dark

  • http://twitter.com/KW1Xan Kristopher Willis

    I think in college we all have something of the sort happen, fortunately I have been quite lucky.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CaseyJonesATX Casey Jones

    Do you worry about typecasting yourself as 'the text message girl' on TC?

    • Lucia Stacey

      Nope. I write about other things as well. Those musings just aren’t on TC yet. Thanks for your concern though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    Wow, you really should never have sent them

  • http://www.guidetomenhattan.com Rachel

    I wish I didn't have such a good 'mental block' on all the horrible, horrible texts I have sent in my life… oh the humanity, it's been bad. 

    one good one, though, was soon after I moved to NYC, I visited Austin and saw my ex bf from all of college and found out he had a new gf … and texted him that I hoped we'd still remain in each other's lives as friends, but he'd have to make an effort…and the radio silence continues…but she's not cute (and now his wife), so it's fine…

  • Paul

    I managed the gay version of each of these before texting existed.  The “You look really cute with your new boyfriend” was amiably, warmly offered face-to-face.  And it got the same response you got.  “What the hell are you talking about?”  Same with “I'm gonna be busy for a really long time.” Face-to-frowning-face.  I mastered the art of the very deep sigh.

  • your cousin

    Oh god, this just reminded me of weird horrible stalker shit I did during the early days of Facebook in 2004. Did I really tell the boy I'd loved since 9th grade that his girlfriend was adorable? Kill me.

    Also, I'm glad we can all agree that Avril Lavigne is the greatest female vocalist of the last decade, and that “Things I'll Never Say” is her magnum opus.  “I'd say I wanna blow you … away.”

  • anniedeliberately

    Ah, yes, I feel your pain girl.

  • anniedeliberately

    Ah, yes, I feel your pain girl.

  • http://twitter.com/andeenero Andee Nero

    My worst text was sent to a guy I mildly liked while drunk. It said, “I find you attractive in the presence of pies.” 
    This might also be the best drunk text I've ever sent.

    • http://twitter.com/andeenero Andee Nero

      Also, this is a great improvement when compared to most of the other thought catalog pieces this week.

    • Abby

      Hahahaha that is the greatest drunk text ever.

  • SousChefGerard

    Only one I could remember at this moment:

    “I didn't laugh at the face rape joke. Merely chuckled. Still coming over to cuddle later? Not kidding.”

  • guest

    I don't have any, I usually call people to beg them to love me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=539592740 Viktoriya Gaponski

    Fortunately I have more “texts I wish I'd never received” than the former.

  • http://twitter.com/ward_hegedus Ward Hegedus

    I'm not sure I can handle the idea of you being in the sixth grade in 2002. I'm going to go cry into my bowl of fiber one.

  • Snow White

    I once drunkenly texted this guy I had been hooking up with: “You're my boyfriend, I just decided.” That's a good one to use if you really want the opposite to happen.

  • http://twitter.com/crapface Hannah Foster.

    Mine is: “I wish I knew what to say to you because you're lovely and I want to make this work. I watched a Fire Service demonstration today, they cut open this car good and proper.”

    I COULD'VE JUST LEFT IT. I COULD'VE BEEN THE QUEEN OF HIS HEART. HE COULD'VE TEXT ME BACK SAYING 'HANNAH, I LOVE YOU TOO. LETS MOVE TO NEPAL AND FARM ELK OR SOMETHING'. 

    But no. He just text back saying. 'I know how you feel. And that's cool. I would have liked to see that.'

    Reason all of my relationships fail miserably #347323: I'm a dick.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tanesha-Shireman/1812939331 Tanesha Shireman

    I had a friend who really didn't like this girl and she just wouldn't give up so he finally gave her the excuse that he had to wash his hair….AND SHE STILL DIDN'T LET IT GO.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CaseyJonesATX Casey Jones

    Also it's hilarious that you guys changed the URL of this article from https://thoughtcatalog.com/2011… to https://thoughtcatalog.com/2011… in order to garner more search from people looking up the hottest news on what skater girl is up to these days.

    • Ankush Thakur

      Which seems fine to me.

      • freddipass

        Imagine what they'll think when they find this. Ha!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Heather-Mulkey/1327039436 Heather Mulkey

    I commend you for being open about your feelings. Personally, I would regret more never having done/said something and always wondering. Embarrassment is not a reason to learn a lesson- instead learn to laugh at yourself and brush off the situation. A person that can openly communicate their feelings has a much better chance of living a happy life than constantly second guessing yourself. 

    I don't think you are creepy. I think those people are probably shallow assholes. Be you. You can't possibly be what everyone else wants- there are too many people on the planet that don't even know what they want for themselves. 

  • Gnush

    Hahhahaa, so true. It's kind good that you felt the shame though. It makes you learn.

  • eferf51
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