I Guess I’m Just At That Stage In My Life Where I Need To Reboot ‘Spider Man’

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I suppose I’m just in a little bit of a “funk” lately, I don’t know. I’m having a tough time since the divorce and I’m nearly nine months unemployed, and I’m unsure of what direction I’m going in. Like I don’t have both hands on the wheel, do you know what I mean? Maybe I need to shake things up, do something adventurous. Maybe travel, or reboot the Spider-man film series.

I guess I’m finally at that stage of life you hear people talk about but can’t truly understand until you experience it for yourself. The stage of your life where you say to yourself, It’s time to start making things happen. It’s time to reboot Spider-man. Maybe go a little bit darker than the last Spider-man movies did, and maybe explore different villains from the ones in the last few Spider-man movies. The stage of your life where, when you look in the mirror, you think, Who even are you and what are you doing with your life? Why don’t you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, scrape your knees a little bit, get out there and REBOOT SPIDER-MAN?

I just don’t want to fall into the same trap that a lot of people fall into. The trap where you think about rebooting Spider-man with a darker tone and a deeper exploration of the franchise’s rogue gallery, but you never actually get off your butt and do it. I just know so many people with their heads in the clouds, finding comfort in the fantasy of possibility and saying things like, “One day I’m finally going to take that trip to Europe,” or “One day I’m finally going to get to work on that tech start-up,” but they never do. I don’t want to be one of those guys. I want to really do it. I want to really reboot Spider-man.

Is it daunting? You bet it is. When I think about the logistics of rebooting a film franchise, especially one like Spider-man – A franchise in which new sequels are still currently in production, and all the past films were very successful – I kind of just want to give up before I even start. I guess I just need to remind myself that this will only lead to a lifetime of regret and sadness. I don’t want to be 90 years-old laying on my death-bed thinking to myself, What if I had rebooted Spider-man? Because, what if the Wright Brothers just gave up on the idea of human flight before they even attempted to build an airplane? What if Albert Einstein just gave up on his dream to become a great patent clerk?

Of course there are plenty of people trying to bring me down; Trying to infect me with their negativity by telling me things like, “You can’t just reboot Spider-man.” But I know that they’re just jealous I had the idea to reboot Spider-man first.

Sorry for rambling. I really appreciate you listening. I know I’ve said all this stuff a million times before, but can you do me a favor? Don’t let me just blow this off. Every time you see me, I want you to ask me, “Have you rebooted Spider-man yet, with a new line of Spider-man films that get a little bit darker than the previous Spider-man films but also still honor the poppy charm of the comic series, and also introduce some of the Spider-man universe’s more obscure villains such as, maybe, Hypno-Hustler or Mind Worm?” I work best under pressure.

This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Say goodbye to the old me, ’cause the new me is running the show now and the new me is going to reboot the incredibly popular Spider-man movie franchise. You can hold me to that. 2017.