He was never the guy he said he was going to be. He was never going to keep his promises. He was never planning to stay. He never loved you the way you loved him.
And maybe, he never even loved you at all.
The truth hurts and I wish there was a way for you to cut that part out of your life. To skip the hurt and move on to the realizations of your mistakes. To just not go through the hell of ever feeling that you’ve been left behind by the person you poured your whole heart and soul into. But there is no fast forward button. You can’t skip the nightmares. You can’t skip the heartbreak. You can’t skip the pain of being disappointed because once again, a person has hurt you and they don’t even regret it. You can’t skip any of that because that’s part of a process for you to be stronger.
I want you to believe that you deserve better. I know you’re smart enough to understand what you should do and how you should feel, but believing that you’ve always been enough is another challenge to conquer. Because let’s be honest: even if he has hurt you, left you, and broke you, you have continued to make excuses for what he has done and for what he has made you feel. For some reason, it’s just been easier to blame yourself. It just feels natural to assume that it was your fault, your mistake, and your problem that ruined everything. He made you think that you were not worth fighting for. And you probably think he’s right but I’m betting my life: he’s not. You are worth fighting for. You are enough. You’ve always been. And I know how hard it is to believe in those words when everyone who’s ever been in your life has proven otherwise, but try. Try to believe that you are enough. Take small steps into building back the self-worth that you lost when you loved him.
I know it’s not going to be easy but I want you to start today. Forget what he has said, those words don’t mean anything. If he was even a quarter of a man he said he was, he’d never leave you the way he did. His existence is a mere reminder that some people are always going to make you feel small and insignificant.
But ultimately, when you love yourself enough and when you genuinely believe that you matter, then those people won’t be able to touch you.
Forget the pain that fuckboy caused you. He’s not worth your tears.
But remember the lesson he left you: to love yourself first and to genuinely believe that you’ve always been worth fighting for.