Self-ImprovementHealing

Read This When You Feel Stuck In Your Past

One of the hardest things you could ever do in life is to let go of something you wanted to keep forever. And you thought he was permanent. You thought he was like a tattoo etched on your skin. You didn’t care how it hurt when he got under your skin because you always adore art embedded at another being’s like his smile, or the way he wears his hair every morning, or him- his whole entirety. He was the most natural form of masterpiece that captivated you in a room full of art. He was the most underrated type of art you’ve ever seen. He was rare. There were flickers in his eyes when you look at him and you wonder what he is made of.

There was something in him that made you fall skin deep. It was something that outlook the exterior. You knew in the exact moment you felt the butterflies in your gut was the exact moment you felt something extraordinary happened with the way your heart beat at the mention of his name. With the way your eyes shine when you see a glimpse of him. When seeing him walk towards you was like there’s an orchestra playing in the background. You start to wonder how heavenly bodies could talk, how something majestic reached earth.

He made you feel things, didn’t he? Made you feel how triumph feels like when held in between the arms, how free falling can be so scary yet exhilarating at the same time, how falling for another person can be this good. He made you feel, didn’t he? Made you feel like you are loved. Made you feel how overwhelming it is when you are needed, summoned you when you’re not around. He made you feel wanted, didn’t he?

But like seasons, people change. And sometimes people break apart in order to grow. And even if you believed in the concept of us-against-the-world and getting through it all together, sometimes people need to grow separately; for clarity, self- healing, and self- love. And even if you made yourself equipped to fight for what comes in between the both of you, you can never win a battle you are destined to lose.

So now, it’s time to accept that it’s done. You have to let go. You have to put in mind that there are people who are meant to come in our lives, to linger a bit, but not fully. Sometimes you come across with people just so they can teach you a lesson. The process of moving on is not easy. It’s like looking for the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle that went missing. It’ll make you think of settling to the bigger picture that’s in front of you rather than looking for that one piece to complete it. And it’s always your decision on what to choose. To appreciate the beauty of unfinished art or look for that one thing to complete it. Sometimes it’ll require a lot of sacrifice but take it. Always take it. It’ll lead you somewhere. You don’t have to listen to what other people will tell you.

Cope up in the way you know how. Cut your hair, show some skin, or drink your heart out, party till dawn, or cry a river. Perhaps, meet new people, jump from one place to another, and seek. Do everything that makes you comfortable or uneasy. Perhaps do both. You don’t need to follow the norm. Be elusive. But coping up is not always on the positive side.

Sometimes you need to lose yourself so that you could find something that will cultivate you. And it’s never a bad thing to get lost. You have your whole life to find your purpose. There are times we forget who we really are. And sometimes, we don’t need someone to remind us who we really are because we are never the same person twice. The person you were yesterday is not the same person you are today. And this is called growth. This is how we become. We make our own story. We make who we are. So, become. But you have to choose who do you want to become. So, choose. Carefully. Choose the one that will make sense in the long run. Make it worth it.

So now, let this be a goodbye. Let this be a promise. Of beholding self-worth and loving yourself more than someone else’s allowed to. Let this courage be a stepping stone. That not all goodbyes are doors closing, sometimes they mean new windows opening. And hurt is just our body’s intrinsic alarm to recognize we are existing. That pain felt is just part of living. And having you is just one of the golden moments in my existence. Of how unrequited love is not always worth it. And how letting go sometimes means loving. And how sometimes showing hate is silently forgiving. How dying internally is like hibernating, preparing to be reborn again. How we prove we are never really the same person twice. How we go under a state of tabula rasa sometimes. How sometimes we wake up in the morning wanting to start again with a blank new slate. How we become another blank canvass that’ll face another dense brush. And how sometimes we say it every day, to always start again tomorrow but we never do anyway. But we always have tomorrow, and the day after it, and after it, and so on and on.

It will never be easy. But it will be worth it. Remember this, you are an ongoing masterpiece. A work in progress. It may not make sense for now, but the aftermath will. And someday, you will never be just another portrait hanged in someone else’s wall. You will be an abstract exhibited in the finest wall of a museum. Exquisite. TC mark

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About the author
A Physical Therapy student who likes creating ventures in her own terms. Follow Lourdes on Instagram or read more articles from Lourdes on Thought Catalog.

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