You Don’t Actually Want To End Up With Your Dream Person

Everyone’s been asked at least once in their life of their ideal man or woman. And if you’ve created your ideal person with the influence of books, movies, TV shows, music, celebrities, I ask you to murder that nonexistent person right now or else you will have a miserable life if you won’t settle with anyone but that person.

First of all, that person does not and will never exist. Second, you don’t really want those things. Trust me, you don’t really know everything that you want when it comes to your soul mate. And third, anything can be fabricated, meaning those books, those rom-coms, that sitcom you’ve been binge-watching, most of them are probably created from the minds of genius media folk who know how to manipulate people.

Yep, we were all taught to set our standards so that we don’t settle with anything less than what we deserve. I believe in standards, reasonable standards that can actually be met by other human beings, but I don’t believe in having a checklist for every person with the potential to be your other half. Standards like he/she should have the same ideals and beliefs like you do are reasonable enough. I mean you’re planning to wake up to this person every day for the rest of your life, you must at least agree on something. But never ever make the mistake of subjecting every potential partner to your checklist.

I’ll say this again: the person you’ve created in your head does not and will never exist. And if by some miracle, which sometimes happen in reality, this person does exist, he/she is not the one. And you’ll know that he/she isn’t because you know him/her like the back of your hand. If you somehow, by any miracle, end up meeting your dream person, and we know this has happened to someone you know already, it’s not going to last long. You’ll be excited in the beginning because hey, who gets to meet their dream person anyway? Not everyone. So you’re one lucky gal/guy. But if he/she is your dream person. Then you already know him/her. There’s no point in getting to know each other more. You already know as much as you ever will.

Being with them will be exciting at first, but it will get dull soon. It will become more of a routine than a relationship. Relationships should be exciting. You should still have some mystery by your 25th wedding anniversary. The mysteries, the curiosity, the surprises, that’s what keeps relationships healthy. Keeps the spark alive. Yes, you’re bound to memorize your significant other one way or another, but there’s no thrill if you also know how his mind works. Sure, your dream person can change, but still, you know how he/she has change. Come on, you practically built both your lover and your life together in your head already. You know every detail of the person. That’s not fun at all.

Marry your dream person if you wish, but that’s bound to be a boring life.

Marry the person that excites you. That keeps you hooked. That keeps you interested. If your dream person was created by books and movies, your favorites change too, you know. I’m pretty sure you won’t be interested in him/her after awhile. But standards are good. Keep you reasonable standards. They can actually help your life. Don’t settle with people who don’t appreciate you. The right person will keep you interested, but will also know how to treat you properly, the way you’re supposed to be treated.

And hey, if you’re the kind that believes in love, when the right one comes, you know. You just do. But I’m pretty sure the right one will be far from the one you have in your head. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – The Vow

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