1. Facial hair makes you 10x sexier.
So you know, keep it trimmed and neat. Also, figure out which kind works for you. There’s actually a Wikipedia list for this.
2. It makes you mysterious.
Women love (I mean looooove) mysterious men. They’re like little children unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. Seeing that you keep your beard neat or scruffy neat makes a woman almost instantly attracted to you. You’re like another present to unwrap. They want to get to know you more.
3. It tests your patience.
To grow a beard and actually keep it neat takes more than just a few minutes in the bathroom. If you’re planning to be in a relationship or you are in one, this is something to help you improve your patience especially if you haven’t done it before. Maybe you’ve always liked yourself neat in the face but try it out, who knows what wonders growing out your facial hair might bring to you in the love department.
4. It makes you a man.
Well, having a beard sort of means you are finally a man. Facial hair is basically the first sign of puberty and adolescence. Honestly, seeing men with clean faces especially if they’re more than 18 years old just labels them as ‘guys’ and not ‘men.’ And it sorts of gives you a responsibility to act like a man because hello, you’re a grown person with hair on your face and you’re going to create a scene in public? Oh no, you’re becoming the “all males are jerks” stereotype.
5. Well, again, it makes you sexier.
I’m sorry, I can’t stress this enough.
6. It makes you dress better.
Yeah, we know that beard’s sexy and stuff but if you mix it with bad taste in clothing, like jeans and a baggy shirt that doesn’t work at all, uh, no. Go back home and dress up. Nothing makes a woman interested better than a well-dressed man. Well, nothing but a well-dressed man with a beard.
7. It gives you perks.
Like it makes women 100x more attracted to you, like that Starbucks barista, or that cashier in the grocery store. I know a few who already reaped this benefit.
8. Keeps your girl hooked.
If you’re in a relationship and your woman sees you put effort into keeping that beard sexy and pairing it up with good clothes, she’ll be thinking, “Damn, I bagged myself some sexy man.” And wait for the benefits of keeping that beard neat and trimmed either in bed, in the kitchen or she’ll dress up extremely well for you. And whenever you feel like she isn’t interested anymore, shave your facial hair off. Then she’ll ask why and she’ll constantly remind and bug you to not shave again. When it grows back, she’ll be absolutely delighted. (Delighted as in squeals in delight.)
9. Gives you more character.
Doesn’t matter if you’re a boring person or really interesting like a guitar player for an up-and-coming alternative rock band, having a beard just gives you more oomph. Like here’s a man with something to say, even if you really have nothing to say.
10. Boosts your confidence.
Well, it should because a man with a beard is seriously sexy. You may say that you keep that beard because you’re not bold enough (to go bare faced and get judged), but it shouldn’t keep you hiding. That beard can be your ticket to finding that self-esteem that got lost in high school or college because the girls like the athletic kind. But in the real world, or the world outside high school or college, the girls that eventually become women get more interested in men with beards. (And it’s not because it’s seriously sexy. Wait, it sort of is.)
Again, we all know facial hair isn’t for everyone. But facial hair that works is just seriously so sexy that the world needs more Bradley Coopers, David Beckhams, Adam Levines, George Clooneys and the list goes on. The world is cruel but sexy-ass beards are crueler because just like sex-cuts, as Max Black of 2 Broke Girls said, they make smart women go stupid. If you don’t grow facial hair or it just doesn’t work for you, well, know that we may still love you and that you’ll find true love somewhere, just don’t befriend bearded men.