Dishonesty Is The First Step Out The Door

Human connections are often torn apart by dishonesty. There is nothing more deleterious than a little lie or a hidden truth. Being lied to or being hidden from the truth (perhaps even for our own good) stinks.

For the most part, I dislike finding out, by accident or by choice.

From human to human, we say things like “ah, feels like there’s a wall between us”, and “somehow we don’t connect anymore” and we wonder how past friendships/relationships started off so awesome and so cool and ended off so badly you guys can’t even look at each other anymore.

Sounds familiar?


You see, sometimes that small lie is like an infectious disease.

Say your new relationship is a freshly-mowed lawn equally split in 2 halves, each person owning one side. You guys talk, hit it off and really enjoy getting along and meeting up and sharing experiences together as friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. With every new similar interest or memory together, you plant a flower, a rose, a dandelion, a bean sprout (haha) onto your side of the lawn. These new plants represent added value to your relationship, and the new life on your lawn adds to the life expectancy of your combined lawn.

So realistically speaking, as with lawns, weeds and bugs come along. Weeds and bugs are natural and they come once in a while to mess up the lawn. If the relationship is quite stable, both of you work at it to keep the occasional weeds and bugs (small trivial problems and tiny arguments) off your beautiful lawn.

Little lies are like weeds, bigger lies are like super-weeds.

Every time you lie, or hide a certain truth, you voluntarily add weeds to your pretty and beautiful lawn. It begins the size of a small weed on a neatly-cut lawn, and that weed is so small you barely even notice it. As with things that you voluntarily put there yourself, of course, you won’t trim the weed off when you see it. It didn’t look wrong to be there in the first place.

Because the relationship is balanced by two people with a combined lawn, what happens on one side, affects the other. The thing about the hidden truths and small ‘white’ lies is that they snowball. When you learn to start lying, it gets easier to hide more truths. But even if you don’t add new weeds, weeds grow and grow (usually requiring little or no care compared to their prettier counterparts), and eventually strangle the life out of the plants nearby. They eat away at the ties that bind the relationship until there is nothing left to hold the two objects firmly together.

There you have that plain lawn once again. That’s where the wall comes in.

Sometimes even the lawn, the connection, is completely destroyed. The lawn is cut in two.


Relationships are always broken by the same humans who made the relationships possible.

So, choose Honesty. Choose the flora and the fauna.

P.S. I feel like a green thumb already.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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