8 Reasons It Sucks To Be In A Lesbian Relationship

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Being a lesbian is ultimately awesome. Waking up in the night and remembering she is right there beside you is better than a triple chocolate muffin with cream. However there are aspects of being a lesbian — problems that arise — that are not common to heterosexual relationships and can really suck.

1. The inevitable irritating question of “who is the man?” every time you mention your partner to prehistoric, unimaginative individuals.

Hate to point out the obvious here but maybe — just maybe — two girls can fall in love precisely because they don’t need that masculine aspect to their romantic relationships. There does not have to be a man in a relationship to make it work.

2. Periods.

She’s on hers, then you’re on yours. Then suddenly you’re both syncing and it’s a week of wild accusations and crying at completely ridiculous adverts or any kind of cute, fluffy animals. Too much ice cream, chocolate and regretful decisions are typically consumed and made.

3. For reasons unknown, others find it acceptable to march right on up to your girlfriend and blatantly flirt with her when you’re standing right there.

Apparently drunk people think lesbian couples are fair game. In for a penny and out for a pound, a saying I’m pretty sure was said by a guy who thought he could take two lesbians home for a night of drunken debauchery that would inevitably label him a God amongst men.

4. When the status of the relationships is hazy, the words “exclusive” and “dating” become harder to explain or find than the gold at the end of the rainbow.

There will be many tears and passive aggressive texts until the definition of both words is firmly documented and followed. Even when it is stated, it will need to be repeatedly discussed at length just so you both know what the rules are. This method of relationship is exhausting and ultimately kills the exciting buzz that made the two of you want something in the first place.

5. The talking.

So much talking about you, them, and the mysterious equation that makes us us. Communication is a huge part of any relationship but for lesbians it seems to take on a whole other concept; in lesbian relationships, talking is no less important than breathing. The question “what are you thinking?” is dreaded on a daily basis and can lead to much more than unnecessary passive aggressive eye rolling.

6. The death of sex.

At the beginning you were tearing each other’s clothes off. Now holding hands together in bed is as exciting as it gets. This could be due to too much pressure or the fact that one of you isn’t feeling it. Ultimately, whoever makes the first move is the same one who sets herself up for embarrassment. You can see the pattern forming.

7. Trying not to be the one who is obviously more into it.

Girls are brilliant at mind games; put two girls in a relationship together and a kamikaze of subtle sneaky mind games goes on. You want her to go out with her friends but you also want to be invited. She wants you to ask her if she’s okay but if you ask too much she’ll think you’re too keen and will become increasingly unenthused with and bored of your relationships.

8. Any forms of P.D.A. makes someone uncomfortable and leads to gawping.

Sometimes we’d just like to hold each other’s hands and go under the radar. We also don’t need the shout outs reminding us we’re lesbians; after all we know what goes on under the sheets. Just let us stroll down the street and be a cute couple like all the other billion other couples around us.