Most of the time, we’re scared of being alone in any situation. We grew up in a belief that we have to have someone with us in everything we do; otherwise, we’ll be lonely or sad. Some even say that we should never be alone so that we wouldn’t be miserable. It’s as if our happiness is dependent on the company of others.
I grew up believing that. I thought that if I have someone with me, I’d never be lost. I thought that I’d be sad if I have no one with me. I thought it would be scary to be alone in a room. I’ve always thought doing something enjoyable by your lonesome meant nothing and useless.
Being with others became a way of forgetting what’s happening in our real lives. We used our friends as doors to close a room we should be entering to deal with. Instead of facing reality, we turned our backs and retreated.
I never understood those who preferred being alone until I unconsciously became one. There came a year where it was full of mishaps and heartaches. I was hurting so much I couldn’t bear being with other people. I gave up on everything and everyone. Perhaps I even refused to get better and blocked anything good.
I was at my lowest but in those destructive months, I slowly learned how to appreciate being alone. I finally knew why some wished to be alone. No one could hurt you when you don’t let anyone completely in. I fully understood that people can never be trusted –even your own flesh and blood. At the end of every day, the only person you could rely on is yourself.
In being alone, I became free. I didn’t realize I was confined in other people that I forgot it was I who could dictate my own fate. I learned to strengthen my self-worth. There’s peace in solitude. There’s nothing wrong in favoring to stay at home on a Friday night rather than being with people who won’t even probably stand by your side when you have a breakdown.
I’m not saying that you have to build high and thick walls. There are still some who are worth letting in, but you should know that it is only you who have the power to either hurt yourself or make yourself happy. In appreciating being alone, you will become independent and that is possibly the best thing you could do to yourself.