Nothing is all you need to start over.
Sometime after the fever, you’ll realize you survived. Well, barely. After reading a lot of literature to empower yourself, browsing through photos with captions about being single, watching or listening to thousands of podcasts on how to get over a heart break, and all those things you did just to keep yourself busy to avoid the cold nights and seemingly endless days.
I feel you, lovely. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.
Now that you are able to find the strength to move forward, please smile because you’ve been strong enough to reach this point. I know it still stings and it still replays in your mind, but I also know that you were better than the other day. Keep going, pumpkin. Take one step at a time.
The journey is long, but there’s no reason to hurry, okay? Take your own pace so that when you hear his name, or run into each other again, you’re certain that you will be okay.
Now, there are a lot of things to work on, a lot of goals to reach and so much more love to give. All these, not to another guy, but to the one who deserves the best in this universe.
Yes, you, beautiful.
Let me ask you. What do you really want for yourself now?
Maybe you’re still not in the mood to answer this question because you still want to embrace the lonely days. I feel the same. I’m also the kind who appreciates the ironic happiness that loneliness gives. It’s unhealthy, but it gives a comforting feeling of familiarity.
But hey, let’s keep our eyes to the most important thing, ourselves.
Don’t you miss being yourself? Don’t you miss hanging out with the most fun person to be alone with? Don’t you miss those moments where the only thing you hear is your heartbeat and bursting into laughter while finishing that third box of pizza?
I know it’s hard to accept everything that has happened, as much as it is hard to react because what you want and what you need are two different things. I know that there are times that you are tempted to hit that call button or to press send, but honey, hitting that button will not make things easier. Trust me, it’ll will only be a temporary gratification to your stubborn brain.
You can control yourself, so might as well be rational with your decisions. Please don’t think that you’re punishing yourself by going against what you want because there’s a thin line between coddling and tolerating yourself. Sometimes, there are things to be prioritized and in order to do that, you might need to give up what you want and trust that it will all be worthy at the end. Choosing to move forward will save you from vain pain and time in dwelling into the possibilities of you together. What’s done is done. May seem blunt and harsh, but that’s the truth, darling.
The only thing I’m certain is that there’s a spot in your heart where your long-time dreams were kept. Revive those dreams you sacrificed for the dreams he has set for you. It’s never too late to turn those dreams into reality.
This time may feel like you were left with nothing. It’s hard to start over with an empty space especially when your life hits the rock bottom. I understand, but in this lowest possible level, you will start noticing all the things that were there all along and remained with you up to this point and you will learn to value each piece.
Well, you still got your dreams with you, you got time, a lot actually, you got awesome people who are continually supporting you every step of the way, you got a heart that’s full of love and hope, and most importantly, you still got yourself. I think you got all you need to be able to pull yourself together.
Besides, you’re a strong woman before you were hit by the storm, so she’s just inside you. She has never left your side. She’s just there waiting for the right moment to come out. Let her out, dear.
You know the reason why you were left with air and nothing? It’s because the universe wanted to tell you it’s time to redirect yourself, it’s time to leave those toxic people who are sucking the positivity in you, and most importantly, it’s time to rebuild yourself completely.
Nothing is a friend. Nothing is today.
Nothing is all you got, but it’s perfectly what you need to start over.