Dating can feel like you are walking through a minefield — you never know who is going to work and who is going to break your heart. Take a look at some of my experiences with men that I’ve dated and see if you can learn to watch for these mines (or signs) before it’s too late:
1. He asks for your number, but he never calls.
When I lived in the USA I met an Australian guy and he asked for my number. Even though I wasn’t really interested in men at the time, he really put up a chase for it, and it was flattering. After I gave it to him, he told me he would call, but after a while I realized that was never going to happen. Why did he say all those things and never follow through? He was just out of a divorce, and he was still getting over that.
Keep in mind that sometimes guys ask for your number without ever having the intention of calling — it’s totally normal. But those (obviously) aren’t the type of guys that you want to spend your time with.
2. He just wants to play cat and mouse games.
Some men just LOVE the thrill of the chase. It’ll involve a ton of chemistry, but he’ll avoid getting too attached. I remember being obsessed with this guy in my hometown, and he pursued me over and over again even though he knew that we really didn’t work. Why? Because he knew I liked him so much. He knew that he could have said anything to me and I probably would have agreed at the time. Guys like him like to play the field and they love the game — they aren’t looking for a committed relationship.
3. He acts like your boyfriend, but he never commits.
The most hurtful of them all, and probably the most frustrating, is the guy who acts like your boyfriend and never commits. In hindsight, thank goodness he didn’t! The reason why I stayed with a guy like this was because he treated me better than any other guy had before — we stayed in fancy hotels, had expensive dinners, extravagant holidays. I even thought I could overlook the lack of attraction on my part, but in the end I just kidded with myself. What’s he doing now? He’s still single and has commitment phobia. He used to call women ‘marriage missiles’.
4. He says he doesn’t believe in marriage.
When man tells you he doesn’t believe in marriage when you WANT to be married it’s a very important decision-point for you. There are only two reasons why he will say this; either he genuinely DOESN’T believe in marriage or he doesn’t want to marry you. Either way, you’re not going to get what you want. Instead of sticking around, cut your losses and go find what you do want. Yes it’s scary, but it’s worth it.
What really makes you hurt is not the guy’s actions — they aren’t necessarily out to get you — but it hurts so much because you sacrificed a part of yourself and your ideals for him. It’s important that you don’t deny yourself and that you remain true to yourself. If you look at my life experiences the writing was on the wall with all the men I dated, the signs were obvious. So if you’re dating a man right now and it’s not feeling right or you feel like he’s going to hurt you in the long run, maybe try taking a look at how you both line up.