For years, I believed there was something wrong with me. I was never enough. I needed to be fixed in some way before I could have a great life, great boyfriend, earn the money I wanted and live where I desired.
But life doesn’t work that way.
Everybody in the whole world has self-esteem challenges to overcome, bad things that happen to them and unfulfilled wishes. But here are five self-esteem tips that’ll silence your doubts:
1. It’s not about you.
Don’t focus on you and your problem the next time you see the “hot guy” in the corner who you’re afraid to approach. Instead of thinking how messed up you are, think that he suffers from the same fears, wants and hurts that you do.
2. You’re ALREADY enough.
It’s easy to feel like you’re not pretty enough, not the right weight, not the right height, not eating the right food, etc..
Everyone’s quick to give feedback, but we’re in a culture where nothing is ever enough—where everything is bad for you and if you do this, this and this, your whole life will change for the better. It’s exhausting for crying out loud! No wonder we doubt ourselves.
3. Remember: Everyone has a story.
I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t have a story to tell about how they became the person they are today. The truth is, everyone has a story. Some of us do great things with our painful past: we choose to heal, understand and create the new. But at some point, you must let go and move on, rather than wallow in self pity.
4. Understand your feelings.
If you ever feel sad, lonely or depressed, it’s because you are doing something against the grain of who you really are deep inside. Acknowledge the bad feelings and try to figure out the reason behind it. Then make the positive change in your life—no matter how scary it seems.
The goal of life is not to avoid bad feelings but to understand them and grow into the challenge instead of running away. There will be lots of challenges and obstacles to overcome, and nobody is immune to that.
5. Don’t let others define you (because they will).
It’s up to you to decide who you are, what you want from life and what you are going to do to get it. It’s in these choices that we get to reach our full potential.
At any given moment, you can decide who you are, where you’re going and how you are going to get there. The only limit is in your head.
So, what’s stopping you from having what you say you want? What do you believe you need to do or fix about yourself. I’m here to tell you: absolutely nothing. You, too, can have ALL the riches in the world.
The man, the love, the joy and the “happily ever after” are possible. You don’t need to be fixed. Phew!