Insanity, as some say, involves repeating the same set of actions or behaviors while expecting different results. No matter how hard you try and force yourself to believe otherwise, shitty people do exist. There is nothing you can do to change those types of people. They give you thousands of reasons to walk away, yet you don’t. Maybe it’s time to do so. Walking away will say a hell of a lot more about you than them.
The dating world today is much different than say, perhaps, the 90’s. However, crappy people existed then just as they do now, and those who encompass such destructive dynamics do not belong in your life. At some point, you must rid yourself of that trash. No matter where you are in your dating journey, remember these key pieces of valuable information.
1. Stop accepting shit behavior. What you allow is what will continue. What you permit, you promote. If he/she is unwilling to meet you in the middle so that you’re both happy, walk the hell away!
2. Instead of thinking of them as some sort of dreamy possibility, don’t think of them at all. Instead of waiting for a text or call, force yourself into the process of slowly forgetting about them altogether. Being fixated on just one person who clearly isn’t committed to you in the slightest is never going to get you anywhere.
3. Remember this incredible Maya Angelou statement – “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Sometimes, a person will try and make you feel as if you’re being too sensitive, too dramatic, or expecting too much. That’s a load of garbage. Being conscious of your own self-worth, and knowing what you deserve doesn’t make you any of those things.
4. Just because they have a desire for you, doesn’t mean they value you. If they do not value you, they clearly do not deserve you. It’s that simple. The right decisions will always be clear if you pay attention. “Learn my value, or earn my absence.” You’re only an option if you choose to be.
5. Set expectations. Never permit yourself to compromise what you want in order to appease someone else. Your principles, morals, and needs are tremendously significant. At no time should you lose sight of that.
6. If you want commitment and a future, don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t share those same aspirations. You have a voice for a reason, never silence it.
7. Date someone who genuinely cares about you and your well-being. Someone who texts you frequently just to see how your day is going.
8. If things happen to go sour, forget about the idea of getting closure because you probably won’t get it.
9. Trying to make someone feel guilty for treating you poorly is a waste of time. Just because you want them to feel remorseful doesn’t mean they will, because they probably aren’t. Doing this will accomplish nothing, and they’ll probably get angry and call you crazy. The best way to let them know that it’s not okay to treat you like crap, is to walk away and never look back.
10. There is a difference in being assertive and being aggressive, they do not go hand-in-hand. Being assertive means you firmly speak your mind while also remaining calm. When it comes to your wants and desires, be assertive. Not aggressive.