1. You will fight tooth and nail to prove that they are the superior species.
2. Personal space is nonexistent in your world. Don’t confuse them by making them feel unwelcome in the bathroom, they enjoy accompanying you on your trips to the toilet.
3. You feel as if Taylor Swift may have been referring to cats in her song “This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”. Any objects sitting on a table, chair, nightstand, dresser, etc. will be knocked off and/or broken promptly.
4. You’ve learned that petting your cat usually leads to being bitten by your cat. Petting should occur in 10-15 second intervals only.
5. Cats are self-sufficient, hence superiority. They don’t need you. This can make you feel slightly offended when they sit on someone’s lap other than yours.
6. You don’t need an alarm clock. Even though they typically spend 16 hours of their day sleeping, you can guarantee they will be there to wake you up at 6am. Even on the weekends.
7. You will have the shit scared out of you at least one time each day. This usually happens when they stare off into the distance right behind you, but you’re too scared to turn around and see what in the hell it is they’re staring at. Or, they will take off into a high-speed sprint into some random room and leave you wondering, “what do they see that I can’t see?”.
8. The sound of meowing coming from a closet somewhere is a sound you’ve gotten used to. Any time you open a door, they make themselves welcome to walk right in.
9. You’ve also become accustomed to the sound of some sort of large item crashing to the ground. Usually around 3am.
10. Sometimes, cats can be really freaking sweet. When you’re already running late, and know you should get off the couch and take a shower, but your cat just fell asleep lying on your stomach. So, you’ll be approximately 15 minutes to an hour late, depending on how long the nap lasts.
11. The days of sitting on the couch using your laptop are over. The moment you sit down with that computer in your hands, the cat decides he needs attention and will do anything to get it. Don’t even consider attempting to write a legible email.
12. Their cuteness gets them out of literally everything. You both know that the kitchen table is off limits, but she’s so cute when she sleeps tummy-up.
13. You have more conversations with your cat than anyone else and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
14. You were forced to remove all your gorgeous indoor plants. Cat or plant. Can’t have both.
15. You’re always “missing something”. Chapstick, pens, bottle caps, and literally anything else that easily slides across the floor.
16. You catch yourself responding to their meows, as if you know exactly what they are saying. Especially the “feed me” meow, the moment the food bowl is half empty.
17. You cater to your cat. When you brush your teeth, you routinely leave the water dripping knowing the cat will jump on the sink any second to have a drink. When you receive a package, you leave the empty box out because you know the cat is dying to get inside.
18. Yes, they can be a bit annoying and unpredictable, but you know you couldn’t survive without your cat(s) because they’re pretty great. You don’t have to buy them toys because they entertain themselves. They don’t bark, nor do they need 3am potty breaks. And though some may not believe it, cats are excited to see you at the end of the day. Only for a few minutes though.
19. You don’t “own” a cat. They own you, and you should be thankful.