When you apologize, are you truly expressing regret for something you’ve done wrong? And was it “wrong” in whose eyes—yours or theirs? Women consistently apologize in the wrong context or when things aren’t even their fault. My point—stop apologizing. Here are seven things women need to stop apologizing for.
1. Saying no
Why should you ever apologize for this? If your heart isn’t in it 100%, it’s only fair to yourself and others to say no. Whether it be a job position, something intimate, or even dating someone. “I’m sorry, I can’t take the position.”
Wrong. Instead you can say, “I really appreciate the offer, but I have to say no.”
2. Spending time alone
This may not apply to every female in the world, but if you want time to yourself to just be alone, then do it. You don’t need to explain yourself. Those who respect you will respect your choice, even if they don’t fully understand it. “I’m sorry, I’ve had a stressful day, I can’t go out tonight.”
Wrong. Instead you can say, “Thank you for the invitation, but tonight isn’t a good night for me.”
3. Ending a relationship
Isn’t it so irritating when your friends say “aww, he was such a good guy! You should’ve given it more time”? No, they should appreciate your decision. The reason you made that choice is simply that. Your choice. “Sorry, it’s not working out.”
Wrong. Instead you can say, “You’re a great guy with an awesome personality, but my heart just isn’t in it.” In the end, the truth is always the correct option.
4. Making the “wrong” choice
You are the only person who gets to decide if your decisions are right or wrong. No one is living your life except you, and unfortunately people tend to understand things from their own perspective, not yours. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
Wrong. Instead you can say, “Thanks for being considerate of my choice.”
Crying does not make you weak. Crying makes you real and honest. It’s okay to be vulnerable and emotional. What would the world look like with emotionless people? Robots, that’s what. “I’m sorry, I’m such a wreck.”
Wrong. Instead you can say, “Thank you for loving me even through these ugly-ass tears.”
6. Telling the truth
It takes courage to be honest. Integrity. When you think about it, isn’t hiding or keeping the truth from someone lying? Being open and honest in your relationships isn’t always easy, but ultimately it strengthens the relationship and builds trust. “Sorry, I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”
Wrong. Instead you can say, “Thank you for being open to my honesty and trying to understand my viewpoint.”
7. Someone else’s actions
This is a big one. Someone bumps into you in the hallway and you apologize. Your boyfriend gets drunk and acts like a total jerk. You apologize for his behavior. “Sorry about the way he acted last night.”
Wrong. Instead you can say…nothing. It’s not your fault, you have nothing to apologize for. We are all responsible for our own conduct, we can only control ourselves.
Whether you realize it or not, each apology you give influences your self-worth and image. So, choose to say, “thank you” instead. You’ll make them feel appreciated. It’s so much easier to be yourself when you aren’t repetitively apologizing for doing so.